shocking service ordered at 7.10 told 40mins called again 8.10 told 10 to 15 mins then the phone…read moredoesn't get answered after 8.30 drive there delivery driver stood chatting with the staff whilst our food was in the boot of the car and when we got it home not all there

Rather than being some sort of chat line focussing on people who want to have conversations with…read morefood ("Hi, I'm a three cheese omelette with a vinaigrette salad - what do you want to talk about?") this is yet another of Formby's seemingly endless parade of fish 'n' chip 'n' Chinese food purveyors. While being weaker on the fish and/or chip front (the chips are often a little crispy and lack a proper fluffy middle) this place is far better than most on the Chinese takeaway front (the dragon beneath the sign should probably have given this away). It's not haute but if you like sticky and aromatic dishes with chicken that slides apart or beef with a little chew to it then there's definitely nowhere better in Formby. Unfortunately it doesn't tend to be open very late, which is a shame really - it could do well mopping up the stragglers coming out of nearby Grapes pub at closing time.

Situated in the heart of Formby village, Flames is probably the takeaway in Formby with the best…read moreturf in the ongoing war of the takeaways. Despite this though, I only ever go there when Amigos is closed and when we can't be arsed walking to Panchos (it is quite the trek). It's not that Flames is particularly bad, it's just not really that good either. As with Panchos, the pizzas are expensive for what you're getting but Flames doesn't have the same quality of pizza to fall back on like Panchos. The kebabs are pretty standard - thin, cardboard-like in texture - but still no better than their rivals. Their burgers are definitely the best of the bunch as they offer thick, meaty slabs with generous helpings of salad. Despite its bad points, Flames does earn extra points however for regularly being the only place with the balls to be open at two in the morning on New Year's Day when every other person with an ounce of common sense doesn't let us inebriated idiots anywhere near their shop. It's not bad, but I'd recommend Amigos or Panchos if you have the luxury of choosing between all three.

The rumour is that the good people of Formby would not allow a branch of McDonalds, or Burger King…read moreor any other red plastic clad fast food eatery within the village limits. Whether this was for fear of attracting the wrong sort of person (a serious issue for a town with two golf clubs and branch of Waitrose) or of the greasy hamburger wrappers that would blow through the streets and find their way into manicured hedgerows or cleanly swept driveways. Whatever the reason for not allowing the big boys in, this little kebab shop on the prairie was the alleged compromise. Honestly it's not bad; the pizzas are deep pan and generously topped and the kebabs are freshly prepared and flavourfully spiced. The prices are a little high - expect to pay £5 for most nine inch pizzas - but this is to be expected from frontier fast food in a town where local footballers set down sticks. They used to even throw in a bottle of wine with your order (or would be willing to sell you one long after closing time at the bars and off licenses around the village) Delivery can be a little erratic - we once waited an hour for two pizzas, so consider yourself forewarned.

Saturday was not Saturday unless you stopped at Amigos at the end of the night. We would come home…read morefrom Southport, our barely legal kidneys swimming in alcopops and lager-tops and head in here to secure a chip wrap, a pizza - or in the case of one of my more inebriated friends a calzone and an order of garlic mushrooms. I don't think they really knew how to make them (they were probably just on the menu to fill up space) but they did make them, and they did it with a smile and some friendly banter about Galatasaray Vs Liverpool. It's all fairly standard kebab shop stuff (well, except the 'Special Burger' which features a fried egg) and you're paying a premium for being able to buy it in Formby, after eleven o'clock but this is service with a smile, free chicken nuggets on your birthday and if you're lucky, cheese on your chips at no extra cost.

Ah, Amigos. To say that this little establishment played as big a part in my first years of…read moredrinking as the only local pub that would serve us before we were 18 would in no way be an exaggeration. Every week, without fail, we would visit Amigos after jumping off the last train from Southport and would all eagerly order whatever we could afford with the change we had left after drinking whatever cheap piss was on offer in the pub. Such good customers were we (one friend in particular would regularly spend nearly a tenner in there during each visit) that they would even stay open and wait for us to arrive, and I was on first name terms with a couple of them (George and Mehmet, I salute you). Amigos has since changed hands and whilst I may not know the staff's names any more, they remain friendly and chatty, as well as being damn good at making kebabs and pizzas. The prices have risen in recent years but they're generally cheaper than every other kebab/pizza place in Formby and they also do a great chip and cheese wrap which I would highly recommend if you can't stretch to anything more expensive.

Ah, Poon's. This takeaway in Ainsdale village drew many a childish snigger from my friends and I…read moreon a daily basis on the bus on the way to college in my youth (yes, I was seventeen and probably should have known better but I'm a male, immaturity is what we do). Schoolboy-snigger-triggering-name aside, Poon's is a takeaway that specialises almost exclusively in Chinese dishes, in particular Peking and Cantonese. The takeaway is very popular in the area (a good sign) and this is representative of the quality of the food they sell. From tasty but tangy sweet and sour chicken to deliciously sticky spare ribs and everything in between, Poon's takes what many other Chinese takeaways do already and blow their competition out of the water. Their food can be quite expensive but why not make the most of it and have a banquet whilst you're at it; there's so much variety you might find it impossible to pick just one dish to have anyway.

Fetched some food from Poon's while staying at friends for the holidays in the UK. It was just…read morearound the corner so we thought we'd try them out. A rather odd name for a restaurant but when in England, do as the English do. We ordered the duck in black bean sauce, prawns in oyster sauce and the chicken chow mien. Interesting that the usually dark black bean sauce (Hoisin) wasn't present in the dish but actual small black beans were. The side of spring rolls were a disappointment . We ordered the meat version thereof but I couldn't taste any within as the filling consisted more of a gooey vegetable mass than anything else. The rice was a bit dry and hard. Nonetheless, a decent takeaway.