A week ago I would have given this place five stars. I had spent a decent amount of money there every week and was on friendly terms with the owner, who always gave me a big smile when I walked in because I was not only there for a pack of smokes. A few weeks earlier I had purchased a high-end cigarette rolling machine (the big metal kind that runs about $50) and immediately ran into problems with alignment and other mechanical issues.I found it odd that the unit came by itself in the box, no warranty, instructions, or even the $100 worth of coupons touted on the front. Obviously, the box had been opened and the unit used, but I took the item back for an exchange--NOT a refund--and that is when all the fun started.
Call me an uncanny observer of the human xenophobic condition, but I have noticed that many struggling store owners--whether they are ethnic, semi-ethnic, neo-ethnic, psuedo-ethnic, proto-ethnic, non-ethnic, or, of course, white, tend to either shutdown completely and go into a kind of mumbling zombie-state when confronted by a disgruntled customer, a process which entails sketchy eye contact, a constant shaking of the head as if to wish you to the Cornfield like Billy Mumy did on "The Twilight Zone," and the release of imperceptible but potentially fatal flatulence This technique, while popular across the ethnic board, is most effective when perpetrated by someone of Korean background. Feigning a lack of understanding of the English language is not to be underestimated as a Power Grab. After all, if you cannot communicate, how are you going to get your money back? They know what you're saying, but they are not about to let on, which explains why they speak a modicum of English when TAKING your money, but forget the language altogether when faced with a complaint, or God forbid, a REFUND! As a side note, please remember that the clerk could just as easily leap over the counter, tear our your entire spinal column, and present to you in a handsome gift bag before you have even dropped to the floor. Cig Store, thankfully, does not hire such murderous ninjas. On the other hand, management appears to have been in the john when ethics were being passed out:
The smiling man who had taken my money three or four times a week for years greeted me loudly when I entered, yet when I presented him the defective unit his expression turned to one of indignance, as if I had just thrown a flaming turd in his lap. First he claimed that the unit was not theirs. Proven otherwise, he said it was sold with no refunds. I told him he never said that. Silence.
"How long ago you buy?!" he asked, furious.
"Three weeks," I replied.
"Nooooo. Too long. No refund."
"But you just said no refunds at all. If I brought it back the same day, would I have gotten a refund?"
A light wisp of smoke now began to rise from both his ears.
Since it was clear that he was not going to help me, I asked for a copy of my receipt or even something handwritten since this place does not give out itemized receipts. He stuck out his lower lip, looked at me, looked at the crappy cig machine, and said, "No, no receipt for you"
"You can't or you won't?"
"I won't. You have receipt already."
"I never got one, as usual. And if I had it would not have been itemized, so Top (maker of machine) will need a receipt that indicates the sale."
Silence. Inscrutable silence.
"So?" I asked him.
"What?" he asks, as if I just walked in.
"Can you give me a copy of the receipt?"
"No. You have already."
Doubtful. This is one of those places that charges a fee if you want to use a card. Is that even legal? Or is the New American Businessman no longer responsible for his own operating costs?
At this point, I picked up my box, and commented on his business acumen:
"Let me ask you something. Do you see the insanity in losing a regular customer because you refuse to exchange a defective item that costs you less than $20 wholesale? Where is the wisdom in that? Am I missing something?"
Just then, a guy who has been waiting speaks up to the owner. "Just exchange it for him. 30 days is normal for returns."
The owner shakes his head, looking at neither of us. "Just give him his receipt then. It's a piece of paper, that's all."
"No receipt!"
The owner is now visible shaken, cornered by two savage round-eyes demanding he run an ethical business. He knows this is impossible, so he lingers further in silence, knowing that sooner or later we will go away.
We do, along with our wallets.
(Last but not least, if you are going to run a service-oriented business, your customers need to understand your English, and you need to understand what they are saying. I am sure a few folks will take that as some kind of ethnic slur, but I offer it as a universal truth. If I open a store in Armenia but don't speak the language, whose fault is it when my business goes belly up because all customers refused to learn English? read more
