When it comes to good food, I get pretty NEEDY
I drive through parts of town that are dark and SEEDY
But I won't go in places that are smoky or WEEDY
Or anywhere in general, that gives me HEEBIE JEEBIES
When it comes to yummy meals, I get kind of GREEDY
I eat a lot because my body isn't DWEEBY
I don't mention Yelp because I don't want a FREEBIE
When food arrives I squeal like Rachel, Monica or PHOEBE
If it tastes amazing, then I give the chef my CD
Then I whip off my pants, so everyone can SEE ME
I say, here it is, from the movies, but in 3D
And anyone is welcome because I'm so AC/DC
But I belong to Barbie, because she is the QUEEN BEE
She loves to share the BBC and I don't mean the TV
And you'll need her permission if you ever need to SEE ME
And you can find us eating perfect curry at HABIBI!
WHAT!
Simply the best late night food in Houston. Better than all the rest. Better than anyone. Even Ike Turner. And tell Ike that if he wants late night food, he can't beat Habibi. And he shouldn't be beating anyone for that matter. Even if that sort of ugly violence is in his DNA. Or his TINA.
What to get: Chicken Karahi, Chicken Boti, and play pool and table football (foozball) while you eat so that you throw up curry all over yourself, especially if you're wearing white
What not to get: Puke stains on your outfit
But you just s...: Shut up
If you bring all your girls here, including your side b****es, then it's Cafe Harembibi.
I'm very proud of this discovery in the middle of nowhere, close to Hillcroft and the Sub-continental South Asian communities. In my experience most continents are sub-continents. That's why Barbie makes so much money.
When Barbie wears her sexy pink tops here and guys say "which brand is that?" while pointing at her boobs as if that's not the point of the point, she says "Ha, Bebe."
I looked up places that had Boti and Karahi and this came up, with almost no reviews. We went here on a whim, which is weird because I thought we went in a car, and I have no idea what a whim is, or whose whim we borrowed because neither of us owns one. But it worked out amazingly.
This is Pakistani food at its very best. It really Pak's a punch. Ha. Ha. Incomparable value and taste. Oily delicious karahi and wonderful chicken booty. I mean Boti (apparently predictive text is horny).
When Misses Rexha, Buell, and Neuwirth give up their day jobs to become stand up comics, they perform here at Cafe HaBebe.
Everything they serve is delicious and the prices are bargain-basement. They also have the most wonderful owner, and really friendly service and very cheap pool and table football. We like that no matter what meal we get, no matter what drinks we get, whether it should add up to $20 or $25 or $30, we always go up to pay and he always says "twenty dollars." I get the feeling if I asked to buy the entire store and the pool table too, he'd say "twenty dollars." It's become an in-joke. Sort of like Barbie's less-endowed clients are in-jokes. For about 30 seconds and $300.
If Barbie is here slipping off her shoes and turning on the other diners (and believe me, she does, and she does), then it's Cafe Hateaseme.
It gets better. It gets so much better. Because if you're looking for Houston food at midnight or 1am, now you finally have a delicious destination right off I-69 (known in Houston as 59) because this place is open till 12 or 1 or 2 every single night of the week (they don't seem to know their closing time, it varies depending on how busy it is, but we've never found them closed anytime before 2am). It's an absolute godsend for people who want late night delicious, authentic, Indo-Pak food. It's extremely cheap as well. Not exactly healthy but then neither is your relationship with your father.
When Barbie pretends she's going home with me after curry, and then leaves with some other big dude, you could say she Cafe Haleadsme on.
It should also be noted that the prices for playing the awesome, fun games is basically nothing. It's essentially free. You can't get much better than that. I mean nothing costs only $0.25 or $0.50 anymore - but these games do. And you'll get a lot of joy out of them like we do. If you're very lucky you might even get to watch Barbie playing them. If not, just catch her movies on pay per view.
And if they charged $100 per curry, they'd he Cafe Hagreedy. Or if they were zero dollars, it'd be Cafe Hafreebie. If they sold marijuana they'd be Cafe Haweedy. And when I take Barbie here, it's Cafe High-heeli.
I was gonna make another bad joke but that'd make this review even more Cafe Hacheesy. read more