I did not seek out a doula for my pregnancy and birthing experience. Melanie and I had a conversation about my unique fertility journey and things just simply fell into place. Sometimes we search for and ensure we have what we need -- sometimes the universe nudges the perfect person into your life to help you through your challenges--that person for me was Melanie. And my pregnancy and the birth of my child were not short of challenges.
Being pregnant and single states away from family during the first year of Covid brought many social and emotional challenges. I was alone for much of the time, and didn't have the typical support group one would be surrounded with in pregnancy. Melanie filled a huge gap in this area; she was a godsend. She would check in with me regularly to ensure not only that I had time appropriate information and was mindful of all I needed to accomplish, but she would also check in to confirm that I was managing my self-care, which I often failed to do. Melanie had a gentle, sweet way of helping remind me to take care of myself during the times that I was struggling with physical, financial, and emotional challenges.
When I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes, Melanie took the time to talk with me about diet and helped reduce my stress about the additional complication. She would check in to see how I was managing my numbers, and ensuring that I felt I was getting the support I needed from my OB and MFM. She listened with care and patience to my concerns and provided invaluable knowledge and feedback to help me navigate my dietary challenges as well as my worries about my baby's health.
Because of Covid, I had planned for Melanie to attend my birth via facetime. But when I checked into the hospital, I discovered that I was allowed two support personnel, so she joined me in the room in addition to my mother. We were all so grateful we had her there to support me, especially when my birth plan fell to pieces.
For my entire life I had planned for a natural birth. Both myself and my sister were home births and I wanted the same experience only in the hospital due to my age and complications. Unfortunately, due to my infant's size my MFM had me induced at 38 weeks and my body was far from cooperative in the induction process. My labor was 44 hours and there was very little progression with dilation, which led us to an unplanned cesarean section in the end. This is where things became emotionally challenging for me to handle. And this is where Melanie REALLY shined. I mean, Melanie always shined, but the loss of decades worth of dreams of what my childbirth experience would be like was far more challenging than I would have liked.
Not only did I have to throw my desire for a vaginal birth out, but the nurse in charge when it was time to prepare for the cesarean process was a power-tripping nightmare who refused to acknowledge or respect every single wish I had on my birth plan. I pulled the OB aside and asked her to please have a talk with the nurse because her energy was not calm and gentle and her methods of care for me were rough and felt lacking in my consent. Now, in my career I'm a badass producer who can keep a crew happy while also being a terrifying boss that people listen to, respect, and follow. I could have turned on that energy and dealt with the disrespect from the nurse, but Melanie helped me emotionally manage the turmoil personally so that I did not explode during the preparations for my cesarean. It remains one of my most powerful memories of my birth. While tears slipped down my cheeks, Melanie held my hands, looked deeply into my soul and held positive space for me to prepare for the imminent arrival of my long-desired child. I do not recall what she said to me, but I know that everything she said was like a soothing balm for my sadness. I cannot fathom how I would have managed that stressful hour of transition without Melanie's calm, gentle, sweet support.
I want to say that again: I cannot imagine how I would have managed that stressful hour of transition from my intended vaginal birth to unplanned cesarean without Melanie's calm, gentle, sweet support.
She was everything I needed in the most stressful period of my child's birth. She was everything I didn't know that I needed in the most stressful period of my child's birth.
I highly recommend Melanie as your doula. I have told every friend I have, who is currently pregnant or thinking about getting pregnant, that they should hire a doula for their birth -- and that they should hire Melanie if they live in the Los Angeles area. read more