Hello bums!
Picture this: I just touched down at the airport, stepped off the plane, and was greeted by my sister and my niece. Naturally, after traveling, the first order of business was food. We wanted a quick lunch, and the crew chose Applebee's. Man, I haven't been there in forever.
Well... today I remembered why. We were driving through Mira Mesa, saw a sign on the road advertising a $9.99 lunch special, and thought, "Hey, why not?" Spoiler alert: only one of us actually ordered the $9.99 meal, and it was a certified waste of ten bucks.
My sister opted for the Chicken Fajita Wraps from the special $10 menu. Toward the end of the meal, she stopped, looked at me, and said, "Wow, this is spicy... I didn't know it was gonna be spicy." Now, to be fair, it's a fajita wrap. A little implied heat is par for the course. But for my sister, who doesn't eat out a lot, a tiny heads-up would have been great. When we asked our server if it was supposed to be hot, they nonchalantly dropped: "Oh yeah, it's got some spice in the pico." Fascinating! That feels like the exact kind of fun fact you share before someone orders. A quick, "Hey, just so you know, the pico has a kick, is that cool?" goes a long way.
To top it off, when we first sat down, the $9.99 menu was nowhere to be found. It wasn't on the table, and nobody mentioned it. We practically had to interrogate the hostess for it, and she looked pretty reluctant to hand it over. It was like asking for a secret, off-menu high-society delicacy... at Applebee's.
As for the rest of us my niece ordered the Mushroom Swiss Burger. She liked it, but noted the onions definitely needed to be cooked through a bit more.
I decided to test the culinary waters and ordered the 12oz Ribeye, requested medium-rare. It arrived distinctly medium. There isn't much else to say about it--it was just bland. Honestly? For a $70 total bill, it just wasn't worth it. I think I would have genuinely enjoyed a steak from Popeyes more--if they made them.
But look, I have to keep myself in check and practice some self-awareness here. Applebee's isn't exactly the spot you visit for a high-end culinary experience, especially when you're used to regular trips to Brazilian steakhouses or fine-dining staples like Cowboy Star, Eddie V's, or STK. That's entirely on me for expecting five-star grill marks in a neighborhood joint.
To round out the experience, the service was on the slower side. It genuinely felt like there was exactly one waiter running the entire dining room. Meanwhile, it looked like they had a full convention of staff hanging out behind the bar. Priorities, right?
At the end of the day, we laughed it off. It wasn't the gourmet lunch of the century, but it gave us a good story, a lesson in pico-de-gallo defense, and a reminder of why some restaurant chains are best left in the nostalgia bank.
Have you bums had any hilarious reality-check meals lately? Let me know in the comments below. read more