Fitz-Hume!!
Do you…read moreremember that scene in Spies Like Us when Emmett Fitz-Hume (Chevy Chase) and Austin Milbarge (Dan Akroyd) attempt to pass themselves off as doctors? And then, of course, a patient needing an emergency appendectomy arrives, and Fitz-Hume and Milbarge go to work with their scalpel, having no clue what to do, all the while slowly inching it in different directions as they get confirmation from the actual doctors... The softball umpires for Chicago Sport & Social Club must have studied this clip from the movie repeatedly because they've performed analogous actions during games on multiple occasions.
I was playing in a game earlier this week, and a woman on the other team steps up to the plate. She grazes the ball with her bat, and the ball drops about two feet in front of home plate. She releases her bat as she runs to first, and the bat drops about one foot in front of home plate. Meanwhile, the ball slowly rolls backward, and then stops at the bat which is still in fair territory. The umpire just stares at the ball dumbfoundedly for several seconds, entirely unsure of what to do. From shortstop, I finally yell, "That's out of play." The umpire then looks up and triumphantly shouts, "Foul ball!" (While not technically correct, I figured arguing this minor detail would be moot since the outcome was the same.) Unfortunately, this example is just one of many blunders repeatedly made by CSSC's umpire crew.
This is the second season I've played with CSSC, and the officiating has been atrocious nearly every game. I'm convinced it is run by some dude who knew someone at the Chicago Park District, got a license for sporting events, and then hired all of his college bros to ump games.
I'm certainly no expert, but it amazes me that a sports club doesn't know jack about ASA rules. It would be one thing if they simply made up their own rules--and in fact, they do--as the games are being played, but even within those made-up rules, there's absolutely no consistency. You have no idea what is going to happen from game to game.
I could bore you with several more examples, but then you might think I'm just some overly competitive jerkface. I'm not. I just find it obnoxious when umps give various teams (and even sometimes my own team) significant advantages because they don't even know the rules of their own league.
I can't speak to how other sports leagues or social events are handled by CSSC, but I can say with experience, that the other two major sports clubs in the city know how to officiate softball correctly. The only reason I don't play in one of those leagues is because my company pays for the league I'm currently playing in. I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but I'm certainly not shy about trashing it on the internet.
P.S. There are no restrooms near the softball diamond I play on, so I just pee in the bushes. If you're in Grant Park, don't have a picnic near any bushes.