Dawdlers unite! Dr Elbows has arrived!
=== xmas review ===
Like a UFC fighter launching into a lethal finishing maneouver, I assaulted the Westfield Shopping Centre at Hornsby. Look, there's dawdlers in any shopping centre, but you tend to really notice them in this Westfield, at this time of year, because you have only two small aisles and all the centre space is filled in with pop-up type shops (you know the ones, watch repair, nuts and confectionary, servo sunnies, the iphone/ipod scam screen places, and uber crappy jewellery).
Forget Xmas! The dawdlers descend on this place in their droves and it becomes Xmash. They all come out of the woodwork, and leisurely stroll, block escalators, stairwells and walkways, and have the most inane conversations about daily minutiae - all the while totally oblivious to the spatially aware world that the rest of us live in. One woman was having an exhilirating conversation about socks with her young son, right in front of the escalator, unconcerned that the rest of us might want to use it. When I gestured politely for her to move, she said, in an abrupt tone "Sorry!". Lady, just get out of my way, before I *make* you get out of my way. If this was the law of the jungle I would've snapped your neck already and be thumping my chest as I scout out my next meal/victim.
I made the Double-Whopper-with-every-extra mistake of entering JB-Hi-Fi. Dan you absolute Eff-Tard. Yes, I know. Trying to get into the store itself is hard enough, with two burly bouncers blocking the entry and those tiny little pylon thingies you have to walk between... you know, just in case you decide to "lift" an 80" plasma and just walk right out with it. The line to purchase snaked its way around the cattle pen queue and then down an entire aisle of HBO TV Series... and you know they still only had Becky and Dwayne on the checkout, meanwhile the other 15 staff were talking to the one bloke who has the unenviable decision of whether to get the $25.95 Apple branded iphone charger or the $24.95 Belkin one. Always a tough one, I don't blame ya pal.
I literally walked in, saw the epic lines, zero staff, and people at every single piece of equipment and I turned to exit... Uh uh, that ain't happening, you couldn't retreat 3 paces to get the eff outta dodge, you had to wend your way around the entire store, past scores of little brats let off the leash and rubbing their chocolate laden fingers all over everything their grubby mitts could touch; past pops staring dully at Rumpole of the Bailey DVDs reminiscing and wishing he had enough to buy the box set; past groups of male tweenys, wondering how to walk out with Biebs and Swifty without paying; and past that one couple, you know the one where the missus is piping up full volume, so all can hear, about their favourite girlier-than-girly TV show, and the guy, gruffer than a Hells Angel bikie, stands there totally emasculated bobbit-style, his head buried in his hands as everyone around realises he's an absolute nancy. Yeah... so glad I came here...
Such was the nature of my xmash shopping experience here, that I cannot wait till next year, I'm marking down the days left in the calendar... Only 360 to go... it's Michael Hill Jewellers style... Just around the corner.
=== the review proper ====
This is a weirdo Westfield because it has a left and right hemisphere, that operate independently of one another.
The left hand side has all the razzle and dazzle, both supermarkets, the food court (with Kay Eff, Rotten Ronnies, Oporto and ur standard asisan fares), the cinema, Dan Murphys, Tommy Dux, Apple shop, fresh seafood place, Flight Centre and for the cash conscience kids your pals Kmart and Lowes.
The right hand side is a bit of a lobotomy with all the "afterthought" shops, heck I can't even name any... Maybe Dick Smith is here? T2? Shingle Inn?
The walkway that spans both and connects them together like an NaCl bridge, is where a little slice of magic happens. Berkelouw Books has broken free of the confines of its shop and spread like wandering dew into the walkway itself. You can now grab a coffee at Berkelouw and sit in one of the comfy leather chairs tucked into alcoves and surrounded by bookshelves outside the store.
The bridge overlooks the Hornsby fountain on one side, and the grassy knoll on the other. The grassy space (I think it's astro turf) was put into place recently as a "green space". It has a couple of chairs, a couple of trees, and one of those inspirational word statue construct thingys... I think the word is *imagine*, with one of the "i's" missing... so clever... so bloody clever...
All in all, this is a Westfields and it breeds familiarity despite it's attempts to be different. If you cannot find what you need here, then you are probably a bit of a style merchant, or just a total pansy. Certainly one of the two. read more