This place advertises authentic Thai massages.. welp. I happened to have very recently visited Thailand, and because of how stinking cheap EVERYTHING is there, I experienced quite a few "Authentic Thai massages".. I'm talking: walk in, no one speaks English (well, they all speak a little..), point at a menu or even just make a gesture indicating what you want... no questions asked, no debate on type of pressure or previous injuries you may have or preferences or whatever.. you just get led to a mat on the floor of a room covered in similar mats on the floor (sometimes raised platforms if you're in a more touristy area) with nothing but some curtains to separate the mats and offer a little privacy.
Of course, Unknot is a bit different.. as its not located down a random side street in downtown Phuket.. it actually has some rules and regulations to follow to be able to stay in business.. and.. well, you get it.
So. I see this place on Yelp.. and I've really been craving some self love and pampering, so I basically ordered the sampler platter: body wrap, 60 min deep tissue, and 30 min Thai massage -authentic, not table top. I only called a day in advance, so they couldn't book me right away because they had to speak to the massage therapist first and make sure I could even be accommodated for all that in one sitting. Didn't take long, Pamela called me back to let me know it wouldnt be an issue and that I was booked for all three, but once I arrived I could work out the details with Diana (the licensed massage therapist) on how to go about doing everything.
Arrived the next day, check in was simple with a few preliminary questions (the standard: what are your problem areas, do you have injuries, and special requests, etc) and Diana came out to greet me immediately. What we had to work out was the fact that the body wrap includes a 30-40ish minute Swedish massage, but I specifically said I DO NOT want Swedish (to me Swedish just feels like someone rubbing lotion in my skin and not actually massaging anything.. I need that deep pressure!) So. We went with a 60 min Thai, followed by 60 min deep tissue, then the body wrap (replaced Swedish with deep tissue, then just spread the times out).
So first up: Thai. If you've never had a Thai massage, it's a different experience. This one was in a provate room on a raised platform, not a squishy mat on the floor... You don't just lie prostrate while they do their thing during these massages. There is A LOT OF movement involved.. well in the ones I got in Thailand that was the case. After those, my body and muscles felt amazing, but I also kind of felt like I had just finished a workout. This one was similar, but I guess it seemed more.. Westernized? Diana was spot on with the amount of pressure for me (digging in with the 'bows), but where the stretching and movement was incorporated it was a lot more slow placed and gentle flowing. She actually told me that some people fall asleep during the massage. That would be impossible in Thailamd. I felt the stretches for sure. But like I said.. in Thailand it was like a workout. Constant movement. My only complaint was some of the pressure she applied ended up feeling like she was ripping my skin off because of the friction and pinching and whatnot (you're clothed during these, so no lotions and stuff to lube ya up) If you've never had one, you should give it a try.. I haven't decided if I'll get another one or just stick to normal table massages.
Deep Tissue: Again, Diana dug those elbows in.. it got pretty intense with some of the pressure.. I've got some major knots back there and I'm pretty sure she put every bit of strength her 5'2", 100lb frame could muster into working them out. It got a little (a lot) painful.. I'm not complaining, that's what I asked for / wanted / needed. The only thing that I was a little disappointed in was the lack of attention all over my body. I did indicate that my neck/shoulders/upper back needed the most love.. but I didn't realize that meant everything else would only get a couple mins. Still. It was nice. I'm feeling much better now.
And finally, the body wrap. Stripped down to my skin vies, smeared me up with some sea weed gel or something.. then wrapped me up in cellophane, then the cellophane got all wrapped up in ace bandages, then I laid on the table and got wrapped in plastic, then some kind of tarp, then some towels, then a blanket.. I kind of felt like Kathy Bates when she wore the cellophane dress in Fried Green Tomatoes. .. but then wrap her up like a mummy and put her in a body bag.. anywho- then I just laid on the table to marinate for about 30 mins while Diana gave me a scalp massage. I'm not sure if the body wrap did anything amazing for me.. but my skin was good and hydrated afterwards.
Whoops - wrote too much already. They'll probably see me again. The End.