After a very personal encounter with the studio owners, it became clear to me that despite their…read moreuse of world cultures to promote an image of consciousness and allegiance with the community, the owners of the study are not operating from a critical space.
And this happens. Sometimes people travel the world and 'acquire' culture (a colonial practice) and still never come to learn about what it means to see others as fully human, what discrimination looks like (even when we mean well), how men can demean and ridicule women in public spaces, etc. It's to say, while they use their travels and world 'culture' to perpetuate an image of awareness, the content of that awareness itself (an anti-colonial, anti-racist, anti-sexist platform) is nonexistent. That was revealed in the way I was treated by the owners.
I was, in practice, denied the safe use of a space they confirmed was available. They shared the details of the event I was planning (that I gave during a private phone conversation) with DSantosVT, which is a private and separate dance company. They did this without my consent and without informing me. They at no point offered the space to rent to me (days passed) until I mentioned the legalities, at which time they said 'if you drop the legality talk, we'll let you'
I had an encounter where I felt I had been treated unfairly and unprofessionally. I also let them know I worry about the legalities of their actions. I didn't say this to be a 'stick in his side' or be a nuisance. I said this because I was looking for avenues of protection when it became clear the studio was not against acting in a discriminatory fashion. Not only that, they were unable to identify and rectify an issue of discrimination. So, I thought it was wise to at least try to call them to act professionally/legally. That didn't work at all.
They did not see any issue of discrimination or lack of professionalism. I should note, by this point I had shared the experience with various people in my community, all of which agreed that it was unfair, biased, and unprofessional. So, when I asked them if they saw a problem, and Ben and April said no I knew it wasn't me. I knew they didn't know how to recognize an issue of unfairness/racism/discrimination/colonialism, and they were more invested in dismissing me than they were in hearing me and understanding my perspective. They told me repeatedly 'this is how things work' and 'we're a tight knit community.'
Here are some of the things the studio owner said to me, a black woman trying to teach a black art form in his studio. I asked him if I could record. When he refused, I continued to take careful notes as I was verbally attacked after raising concerns about the studio's professionalism.
Here are parts of the meeting I found concerning:
1. Ben ridiculed me before I spoke saying 'do you want your podium now?'
2. Ben compared letting me rent an available space to putting a porn shop in the front.
3. Ben said I had a chip on my shoulder.
4. Ben said I had a hidden agenda.
5. April said at the end of the meeting that I'll be 'sorry and sad,' which sounded like a threat.
6. Ben called me out of my name. He said "you are... blank" using a negative adjective to label me.
As you can see from these responses, the studio owners clearly believed that I took joy in having to protect myself from them. That this was some type of 'spotlight' or 'agenda' that I was carrying out. When I told them I felt they had behaved in discriminatory fashion, they felt that I was the nuisance and bother. They felt they were somehow the victims. This is how white supremacy protects itself. That's well researched and documented. Despite being 'world travelers' it's clear they haven't found this literature.
I think it is very unfortunate that I have been prevented from feeling safe in a studio that claims to provide services for underserved communities. I think it is sad that when a member of that community spoke of unfairness, she was ridiculed. And then, to add insult to injury, their business is based entirely off of selling the art forms of poor people of color (kizomba, african dance, etc).
I will not be returning to this studio ever again. I wanted to share because I know often as people of color, we feel these microaggressions from people we perceive to have power. We rarely mention it, and when we do, if they don't see a problem, we assume it's in our heads. We assume that if we can't put words to it, or can't explain it then it must not be real. We assume that if they tell us 'this is how things work' or 'i meant well' that we should let it go. But that's not true. Sometimes people act in discriminatory, imperial ways and don't realize it, and won't be held accountable. I encourage other people of color and those who understand this message to discontinue business with North End and find more radical spaces invested in truly uplifting our communities, rather than exploiting our cultural productions.
