WELCOME TO THE GOOFIEST GROCERY.
Goofy:
1. Harmlessly eccentric, or
2. Having the right foot forward when riding a board such as a skateboard or snowboard: a goofy stance. adv. In a stance in which the right foot is forward: rode the snowboard goofy down the trail.
Yes, Trader Joe's is definitely goofy. With being both harmlessly eccentric, & also having a very West Coast surf, skate, & snowboard style, that's just so impermeable that no other store can dare hold a candle to!
That's my superlative way of saying that TJ's is the bee's knees.
TJ's has been one of my staple stores for the last 15 years, other than the fact I have lifetime pro bono access to a one acre fully stocked vegetable & herb garden, Asian mom & pop groceries, Farmer's markets & food co-ops. When I'm not improving my walking skills at large stores like Costco, I like to practice short distance walking at Trader Joe's. ;)
As my time is valuable, I often find it's just quicker, & easier to find parking at the Brookfield location compared to the Bayshore one, then purchase my hard-to-live-without items, & just say sayonara to the Fearless Flyer (the monthly newsletter with all the new items) without taking up more than 10 mins to buy my essentials when I'm rushed.
When I'm not brushing, & poofing up my longish pompadour hair, or shamelessly sharing tips with cute girls, & cool AF grandmas, I walk the aisle, & hoard the Dark Belgian chocolate Pound Plus bars (72% & dark with almonds), their nuts & dried fruits, their fluoride-free fennel toothpaste, a few of their cooking oils, all their perfectly priced selections of "adult beverages" of every kind, & at times the muesli. Speaking of TJ's being the bee's knees: they have seminal selections of moderately priced raw honey.
Then, I rush & sneak over to the complimentary tasting counter of samples, drinks, & coffeeeee.
Ahhhhhh, after all the tasty comestibles of samples, I'm now all refreshed, & raring for my quasi-arduous journey, in & out of Trader Joe's towards the check out line. Today was one such day, as I was sandwiched in between two cute Grandmas, & then I'm reminded of the Beastie Boys with their song, "Boomin' Granny... I saw you at the check out line, & you were lookin' sooo fine! Boomin' Granny. Good & Plenty...Boomin' Boomin' Boomin'...
There's-nothing-like-Trader-Joe's, not Costco, not Whole Foods, sometimes not even the several Outpost Food Co-ops in MKE/Greater MKE area, or even the Riverwest Co-op, or the gadjllionnnn farmer's markets all over Milfuckingwaukee.
Trader Joe's is timeless. You'll always be welcomed at any store in the country, whether you're in your bermudas, surfing or skateboarding clothes, or getting caught in between fabulous people in your three piece suit & neck-tie!
Bravo.
6/2018 read more