TLDR: If you're expecting freshly-made craft cocktails prepared in an upscale bar setting with a sophisticated parlor or cabaret-style show, save your money; this ain't it. Cloyingly sweet cocktails (pre-mixed out-of-view of attendees) served in a dirty, warehouse setting sans air-conditioning, to patrons seated in movie-theater seats so old they've warped into misalignment, while angry raconteurs alternate between insulting the audience & telling vulgar, expletive-laced ghost stories in a difficult to follow cadence. Not recommended for anyone over the age of twenty-five.
The venue: Super-Happy Fun Land is in an old cash-register manufacturing facility. It has since been repurposed as an event facility, whose primary niches appear to be raves, punk, & industrial noise-rock shows. Picture a place where Skinny Puppy would've played in their heyday, & you'll have a pretty good idea of what SHFL is like. Dirty, covered in graffiti, with no AC to speak of, & festooned with an assortment of stuffed toys that one might win for knocking over milk bottles with a baseball at a carnival...
The cocktails: ever ordered one of those multi-syrup, ambiguously-named snow cones? E.g. "Tiger Blood" or "Tropical Avalanche"? So sweet, they damn near put you in a diabetes coma? Okay, now imagine how it would taste if you melted it down & drank it with a little Everclear in it. Got it? You now have a pretty good idea of the cocktails served by the Haunted Tavern.
The show: people costumed in goth attire climb on stage shortly after each drink is served & speak. The first one insultingly admonished people to turn off their mobile devices (yes, you should turn off your mobile phone if you go to any show & you're a thoughtless boor if you don't. Period. That said, there are better ways to remind people to do so, & none require belittling the audience). The emcee told an expletive-laced ghost story in an odd cadence. It was clear he'd practiced the presentation, as he delivered it without a single filler word (kudos to anyone who can do this without a single "uh" or "umm"), but did so with an odd cadence that left me wondering why he chose to emphasize certain words or why he paused at certain points in his speech, rather than being immersed in the story. He also hammered a nail into his nose, which is always a sure-fire way to get the audience to squirm, even if the accompanying horror story doesn't do the trick. Another of the performers angrily pretended that people had complained about the cocktails in a ruse to browbeat audience members up on stage with her. I won't go into audience management best-practices here, but suffice to say, there are better ways to do this, & given the audience makeup (people who've come to drink craft-cocktails & hear spooky stories) a simple, "I need four volunteers" would likely have yielded a crop of frantically waiving hands.
I am no prude, & am a firm believer that coarse language (f-bombs included) can be used to tell a story without being vulgar. However, the performers in this show use it as if they've recently moved out of their oppressively puritanical parents' house, & are using any & all opportunities to squeeze out the pus & venom they've accumulated over the past eighteen years. Not that any of the cast or servers were younger than forty. I'm just underscoring the point that there's a way to use colorful language to give zest to a story or presentation, & then there's being vulgar, slinging f-bombs, MFs, & everything in between just for the sake of... what? Being edgy? "Hey look at me! I used a string of naughty words! Aren't you shocked?" At least, that seems to be the inner dialogue of the average disaffected young adult to which I am comparing the Haunted Tavern's performers. (If the shoe fits...)
For someone who's turned twenty-one within the last couple of years, & hasn't yet developed a taste for alcoholic beverages beyond sugary libations like apple-tinis & mudslides, and if you're comfortable in a rough setting better suited for mosh pits, The Haunted Tavern show may be your thing. As for the rest of you, I recommend skipping it. read more