I'm a sucker for a sign that advertises $1 STEAKS!!! which is how we ended up at this particular Dollar Tree... Inquiring minds wanted to know whether the steaks were made up of cow meat, or non-organic, highly-processed, mammal meat, or cardboard.
The meat claims, it turned out, were as false as Dolly Parton's boobs, as there were no steaks left, but an entire freezer full of processed foods that would make any oxygen tank-ridden shopper come down with asthmatic convulsions. (Two people in the store were hooked up to oxygen tanks.) There were also bags of what were labeled as frozen CHICKEN THIGHS, but more closely resembled my wrinkled ass in about 30 years.
I've only ever shopped at Dollar Stores for holiday decorations and candle holders, but am floored that this one was well-stocked with everything from household items to stationery. So what, if there's powdered donuts lurking at every corner? High fructose have a right to an audience, too. And yes, one can never have too many doilies.
The fun doesn't even stop at the check out counter, where things were moving more slowly than the collective molasses that was injected into the items sold at this Dollar Tree. But one can't expect a cashier ringing up over a dozen curly straws and a baby Jesus to not make conversation with the customer who's buying them. And it's also OK when the shopper realizes she'd wanted a dozen baby Jesuses and one curly straw, so the cashier has to void the entire purchase and start all over again.
Dollar Tree, I love you, but next time I'm going in with my oxygen tank, too. read more