I went to see Sterling physiques after watching all of the marvel movies in reverse order. This was a whole new experience from watching them from the beginning. I digress. Because of all the movie watching I realized that I hadn't moved in over 36 hours and I had a gut from eating copious amounts of pizza and tacos. As I entered the state of the fart facility, I was greeted by a fit but weird looking man. He asked why I was there and I explained that I had eaten too many tacos. Tacos? He asked. What's a taco? I explained and even showed him one because I had 17 in my backpack. He asked to try and then immediately tried to take a bite from the middle and made all of the filling fall to the floor. He explained that he was the manager and had lived in a closet like Harry Potter for most of his life. He was not magical, though. After he led me to the main trading area where a more fit yet weirder looking man was deadlifting styrofoam weights. He asked if I needed help and explained that he had a library of books but would not let me read out of any of them. I moved on. Into the 3rd ring of hell I went. I could explain this for days but it consisted of a Bulgarian man rocking what looked to be the robot from I, Robot in water. I didn't want to know. I finally made it to the final boss and it was shocking. Ground squirrels everywhere. A man wearing a suit of squirrels emerged from the ground looking tired and hungry. He exclaimed "I am King Squirrel Daddy, I am going to destroy humanity. You haven't seen the horrors I've seen. If you had you'd cry!" He was batshit crazy. He also mentioned something about virtual reality and human constructs. I had not trained enough yet. I wasn't ready. I threw my bag of tacos and distracted him enough to escape. read more