AXE MASTER The ride…read moreformerly known as Paul Bunyan's Log Chute is charming, unique and LONG! Nickelodeon Universe might have 4 major roller coasters, but I think the overall best ride at Mall of America's indoor park is the simply named Log Chute. This is a log flume made by Hopkins and remains one of the mall's original rides from 1992 that has retained its title (and appearance) despite the rest of the world changing around it.  Even though his name is no longer attached to the ride, you can still find a huge Paul Bunyan statue inside the ride's beautiful mountain façade. Speaking of which, Log Chute has some terrific indoor sections rivaling those of Timber Mountain Log Ride @ Knotts Berry Farm and Splash Mountain(s) @ various Disneyland(s).  Here, the water level is set and carefully monitored to ensure no one gets drenched, because ultimately this ride is still in the center of a shopping mall. Fun fact: this is the longest duration ride in the entire park at a whopping 5-1/2 minutes!  Most of that time is a mixture of thrills and sightseeing, the latter giving you excellent views of Nickelodeon Universe and the surrounding foodcourt.  There's two conveyor belt lifts and two drops, the second of which is 40ft; both are fun. Fiberglass logs seat up to 4 riders in-line and most notably do not have seatbelts or a lap bar.....so hang on and don't stand up.  The final lift has a colorful lightshow and it brings you eye-level with people walking around the mall.  It's awesome to see the reaction of shoppers who don't realize there's a log flume, like, right there. Remember to wave! Keep an eye peeled for a red stadium seat halfway thru the ride; this is in honor of Harmon Killebrew - former Minnesota Twin - who hit a 520ft home run at the old Metropolitan Stadium which used to occupy the land Mall of America now sits on. There's a matching plaque for home plate over by SpongeBob Rock Bottom Plunge, so it makes more sense in context. Log Chute undergoes several seasonal makeovers throughout the year, including Halloween (the "Fog Chute"), Valentine's Day (the "Love Chute"), Christmas (the "Yule Log Chute") and even April Fool's Day (the "Kenny Loggins Chute"). All A+ puns, dad approved. Even the 20ft Paul Bunyan figure gets outfit changes: for Halloween he's been a pirate, Jim Hopper from Stranger Things, Hulk Hogan, and during the holidays, you can find him sporting a Santa hat and singing lumberjack Christmas carols. Festive, ya sure! * TL;DR * Not only is the classic Log Chute the best ride inside Nickelodeon Universe, it's one of the most distinctive water rides in the entire country. Of all the attractions inside MoA, their venerable log flume was without a doubt my favorite.  Not even the forced Nickelodeon rebranding could touch ol' Paul Bunyan - a beloved figure around these parts - and his loggin' chute. He held his (big) axe and stood his ground! Log Chute gives a ton of bang for your buck with detailed dark ride sections, a not-so-hidden easter egg, a great winding layout, a wonderful sense of humor and decent thrills, all done under a giant glass dome.  It's absolutely one of a kind!

It's a lot drop ride. It's similar to RipSaw Falls being a…read morewater based log drop. It was pretty fun! The drop didn't seem too intense and there wasn't an overwhelming splash back on my trip. It's a water ride, but I didn't come off of it completely soaked, which was nice.

LONG TRAIN RUNNIN'…read more Mall of America's original roller coaster is still chugging along 33 years later. As fate would have it, my first coaster in over 5 years (an insanely long dry spell for me) wound up being something I'd ridden before the millennium, back when Nickelodeon Universe was called Knott's Camp Snoopy. Pepsi Orange Streak is a custom coaster made by Zierer and remains the German manufacturer's longest installation at 2,680ft.  It was specially built to fit inside (and snake around) the Mall of America's indoor amusement park, which it's been doing since 1992. This ride was known as "Ripsaw" until 2007, when a Nickelodeon rebrand changed the colors and theming from a logging company to....the official soft drink of MoA.  Aesthetically speaking, this is a big step backwards, as absolutely zero thought or effort went into any new theming. One circuit lasts 2-1/2 minutes (somewhat long for a coaster), although a good chunk of this time is spent meandering along the mid-course brake run that lies within the log flume's mountain façade. It reaches a top speed of 30mph, mild overall but great for families with younger kids. Orange Streak uses two booster wheel lift hills (not a standard chain lift), the first of which is 60ft tall with a modest 40ft drop.  I rode once in the front row and once in the back, and despite neither trip being particularly thrilling I felt more dynamics in the rear.  The ride only runs a single train, but it's a whopping 15 cars long! The unusually lengthy train does two things: it cranks through capacity, and it delivers a unique ride sensation depending on where you sit.  Since the train's center of gravity lies in the middle, the further towards the front you go, the more you'll notice being "pushed" around the track, while at the same time the back row is being "pulled" through the course.  The longer the train, the more noticeable these dynamics become; conversely, in the single cars on neighboring Spongebob's Rock Bottom Plunge, there's virtually no difference at all. My biggest criticism of the coaster is that it slams on the brakes at the end much more forcefully than it needs to (though I suppose the 15 cars generate a ton of momentum).  Given that the train is probably only going 10-20mph at that point, such an abrupt/painful stop on a family ride is no bueno. * TL;DR * Although I care not for the current name, I have plenty of love for this coaster itself, one of the OG attractions inside Nickelodeon Universe. Orange Streak is a solid starter coaster with S-tier reliability comparable to a nicely maintained Volvo.  That is to say, this thing could basically run indoors forever under the glass-and-steel ceiling at the Mall of America.  I hope it's still here in another 30 years. To me, this ride has been - and always will be - RIPSAW. Shove it, Pepsi!

This handsome old woodie (I feel dirty having typed that) is Valleyfair's only original roller…read morecoaster. It gives a rickety ride that I would still class as fun, though not loads and loads of it. No big thrills, but that butterflies in your stomach on several of the drops. It might be better in the front or back. This was the only coaster at VF we said "the hell with it" and just rode in the middle. (We tried Wild Thing from the middle, too, though we also gave it a whirl from the front and back cars.) Hiiiiigh roller (that's how the ride ops say it) is far from the best here, but it's better than the non-reaction the MC in the station got from a returning train. "Welcome back, riders! How was your ride on Hiiigh Roller?" Dead silence! Show some life, folks! High Roller is easy to spot, but hard to locate a queue for, as Cedar Fair, in their infinite wisdom, has it buried in Planet Snoopy. It took us a while to make our way onto it for that reason. HR could also use a new coat of paint as the one it has now is cracked and peeling for most of the ride's length. (One section must have been retracked as one area had blindingly new looking paint.) This coaster is a cool piece of history and I wouldn't have minded going Hiiiigh Rolling again, but it's no Renegade.

PIXIE DUSTER This…read moreGerstlauer spinning coaster is more intense than the innocuous name would have you believe. It finally happened--my son rode his very first big kid roller coaster a couple months shy of his 5th birthday!  After watching countless videos and mentally prepping him, we survived a circuit on a ride with a moderate level of thrills. I say 'survived' because only one of us fully enjoyed the experience. This marks the 3rd Gerstlauer spinner I've been on, following Pandemonium(s) @ Six Flags Fiesta Texas and Six Flags St Louis.  I'd forgotten that this model can be disorienting even for seasoned coaster veterans, despite being only 54ft tall with a 31mph top speed. As soon as the cars disengage from the lift hill, automated controls put them in a "free spin" mode until they hit the final set of station brakes (fun fact: many cars wind up with enough momentum that they're still spinning on the brake run).  If you can load up a car fully, the spinning amplifies. This ride pulls a surprising 3.2G's with major banking on the turns.  1-1/2 minutes is plenty of time to feel dizzy across a layout that weaves around existing attractions.  There's even a nice bump of airtime right before the ending helix. FOC's biggest drawback is its horrible rider throughput.  On most days, they run 1-2 cars that seat a max of 4 people.  However, most folks hop on two at a time and operators don't pair people up, so in many cases the ride only cycles through a handful of people every 5 minutes! The boarding process is slower than molasses, too.  Platform attendants were very friendly and let my kid get on despite him having a Toddler Tuesday wristband which doesn't include the major coasters at Nickelodeon Universe (they were cool and said "don't worry about it, hop in and have fun!") * TL;DR * Fairly Odd Coaster has been a great addition to the ride lineup at Nickelodeon Universe since 2004. While I would've loved to have my son's first coaster be the venerable Whizzer @ Six Flags Great America, there was an opportunity to "do a spinny ride" while at the Mall of America's indoor amusement park, so we took advantage of it.  Sort of a 2 birds / 1 stone thing. (in retrospect, I don't think my 5yo fully realized what he was in for, and having previously nixed the idea of going on Pepsi Orange Streak - a much more suitable family-friendly coaster - I got his buy-in with Fairly Odd Coaster.  While I certainly had fun, I think he needs some time to process.  The big G-forces were a bit too much for my little 'G'.) Don't be fooled by the modest ride stats, this coaster can get buck wild when you least expect it.  Be sure to include this as part of your day at Nick Universe!

If dogs could ride this, it'd be the Muttant Ninja Tuttle Ride. If cats could ride it, it'd be the…read moreNinja Tortie Ride. And if big African animals could ride, it'd be the Ninja Turtle Rhino. Sadly it's none of those things. At the Mall of America they are basically willing to rip off every cartoon and kids thing imaginable to make a ride out of it to try and get more people to fork out the money for their kids. It's pretty expensive. Some of the rides are pretty cool but they don't really have that much in common with the characters that they represent. It's more like just a gimmick-type thing. This one's a little bit out-of-date too but I guess the turtles sometimes come and go and they are pretty adorable so who doesn't love the turtles in general. Her kids definitely did, but I think they liked the Spongebob one better. Just watch out for the holy admission prices Batman.

These giant drop towers are usually the most nerve racking rides at amusement parks for me. (I've…read morenever been on one of those up charge bungee chord rides though.) It's all about the suspense. Funny thing is, about a fraction of a second into the drop I remember it's actually really fun and exhilarating, refreshing, too, if it's a hot, stuffy day and you get a breeze rushing past you. Still, they get me keyed up every time! Identical in height to it's counterpart at Cedar Point, this Power Tower has only columns opposed to four, sacrificing a second column where the hydraulics shoot you up the tower since everybody knows being propelled down is more fun, not to mention suspenseful. One column wasn't running the day we went and Power Tower was the only ride at VF that operations were a bit slow on. It's always nice to get up into the air and see the view from these things, especially in an unfamiliar area for me like Shakopee, MN. And I appreciate that the top is still adorned with Valleyfair in the old school, medieval font as opposed to the uninspiring official Cedar Fair font that all parks seem to have imposed on them these days. Ely and I had a blast on Power Tower while Dave chickened out, waiting for us, looking like the Unabomber on the rickety bridge leading up to PT.

The streak is broken…read more After 48 years of living in the upper Midwest, I finally went snow tubing for the first time ever this winter at Green Acres. True to the song, Green Acres is the place to be. I don't have anything to compare it to, but I had a blast! (Provisionally, I'm giving it 4 stars, in case there is a 5-star tubing place out there.) It's a bit of a free-for-all: grab your own tube (of various sizes), grab the rope (wear gloves!), let go, find a clear spot (no lanes!) and fly down the hill and look back up to avoid other tubers as you head back to the tow rope. Not quite a free-for all: they separate single riders and chained riders, for safety. I appreciate this. Also, you'll need to pick a predetermined two-hour block of time before you go. Two hours of tubing was more than enough, by the way, even with a warming break and a bathroom break, you'll go up and down the hill many times and be wet and tired by the time you're done. "Keep Manhattan, just give me that countryside!" Well played, Oliver Wendell Douglas!

If you're looking to go snow tubing please DO NOT go to Green Acres in lake Elmo. My family had fun…read morebut I had to force myself to have fun so I don't ruin everyone else's mood. We initially reserved for 20 people, 12 ended up showing up because of other circumstances. I inquired to only pay for 12 but they said we have to pay for all 20 because that was their policy. I inquired if they can just resell the 8 tickets because it's going to waste. They even called me at 11:08am saying that if I don't confirm their text then they're going to resell ALL our tickets...why couldn't they resell those 8? The manager says it's in the policy. I could not find the policy anywhere and asked if they could show me and I'll close my mouth and walk away. They had a waiver which says nothing about it. I again inquired as to where I can find the policy that says I have to pay the remainder. The supervisor responded with " the policy is the text I sent you and I'm not going to argue with you about this, you can either leave or go out there and have fun." Supervisor couldn't even confirm to me that it was an actual policy and got defensive when I kept inquiring about it. I simply crumpled a piece of paper and walked away. What was supposed to be only $80 for me my wife and two kids stacked up to $240. Not professional and left very bad first impressions that they only care about your money. Clerks were younger and good sports. Not wasting another cent on Green Acres. First and last time.

Wild Thing lives up to it's name. I almost quoted the Troggs to start this review but I couldn't…read morelive with myself so I went back and took it out. (It still applies though.) Running parallel to Highway 101, Wild Thing clearly announces itself as the headliner of Valleyfair. It was the first Morgan coaster, to my knowledge, that I've ridden, and I was a bit leery, thinking it might be annoying rough like old school Arrow coasters can be. While not buttery smooth like some more modern coasters are, Wild Thing passed my test in the turbulence department with flying colors. It has just enough shakiness to keep things interesting. Even the back row was completely enjoyable. The first hill, 207 feet, is a doozy, but the airtime off the second hill was the highlight for me. There was more airtime riding at the front, too, which I found interesting. It was a brisk day when we went to Valley fair with a light rain, and this green monster almost lost my gray winter skullie cap to a mighty updraft. On one of our 4 rides the rain picked up a bit and stung as it hit my face while we barreled through the course. That was actually enjoyable, in a strange masochistic way. The bunny hills after the mid course brake run (more like a 3/4ths course brake run) are a blast and the multi-hill tunnel at the end sets you up perfectly for mugging for the on-ride camera. Even if you don't shell out for key chains and whatnot don't miss stopping at the photography booth on your way out. I've never seen funnier on-ride photos. After just one ride, you can see where that flash in the dark is and do some crazy poses yourself. Wild Thing was never much more than a station wait. (Our first time riding the queue stretched just a little beyond the station.) One of the ride ops was a bit of a hard ass. He tried to walk of shame some kid off the train even after the guy with the measuring stick said she passed. Looking like a sheepish shoplifter, she passed again, barely, and the whole station erupted in cheers and applause. That same hard ass said I couldn't reride if there was anybody waiting at all, even if there was empty rows, after another employee had given moving to an empty row her blessing. Booo! He also made me take my hat off and, okay, he was probably right about that. Wild Thing is nearly flawless. My sole critique is that the transitions between the elements in the middle might be a little too long. That massive turn around looks really cool, and there's some nice hand chopper moments in the ensuing straight away but it's a little long between hills. Wild Thing puts this place on the map. We rode it 4 times, but I could have easily went for a dozen.

The ride was awesome it was flying going really fast and the drop is AMAZING I would deff recommendread more