Never underestimate the strength of a small Thai woman!
Given a gift certificate for a Thai Massage from a friend who knew I needed to relax, I thought I'd book this during a particularly difficult work week. I was happy to get an appointment at 6pm on a weeknight since I know the place is very popular and fills up quickly.
I've had plenty of Thai massages before, but never in Thailand, or, it appears, from a real Thai lady. I've experienced them from Americans and Italians who have studied in Thailand. So when the guy at the desk asked me if I'd done this before I was like "yeah for sure!". I know Thai massage is pretty hard, but find that most massages aren't hard enough, so I was looking forward to the beneficial effects of activating my energy lines. I was wrong. Never underestimate the strength of a small Thai woman! Apparently - as the man at the desk persisted in telling me afterwards - this is REAL Thai massage, and anything I'd had before was diluted.
Into the room I go. I love the soft cotton pajamas that you get to change into, wonder if I can keep them? I settled on to the high wide massage bed - odd, I'd only ever done this on the floor - and started to relax. The walls of the massage rooms don't go up to the ceiling, which is beautifully frescoed so obviously they couldn't wreck that. In the stall next to me, a phone rings. The lady picks up and lies to a client about having just arrived in her hotel in Florence and reschedules their meeting. She puts the phone on silent but not on airplane mode, so that it continues to buzz every 5 minutes. I'd turned mine OFF, as one does in these situations.
My masseuse comes in and starts to attack, I mean, massage me. I try to relax, but I find myself trying to crawl away from her off the table. I make little polite noises to indicate that perhaps she might not press so hard. She persists. I cry out in pain and she actually GIGGLES! Clearly she enjoys this. I know it's good for me, but am sure it would be equally beneficial if she pressed just a little less hard.
Next to me, the "businesswoman" appears to be having an orgasm. Perhaps she ordered a different type of massage than I did, because she's moaning "that feels so good". I suppress a laugh myself, which turns into a kind of tortured scream.
At the end, we're done! yay! The nice lady asks me if i want "final stretch"? I had to ask a few times to understand (stretching finale?). Ok, sure, yeah, a good stretch. Right. She bends me over her knee and cracks my back. Should have said no thank you. read more