On 10/4/26, Christian, the Community Relations Director, gave me a realistic price for assisted…read moreliving with LOW level of care ( $5750 for a studio, $820 for care, per month. See photo, Exhibit II, "Established Fees and Services." Christian, the Community Relations Director at Merrill Gardens, highlighted in yellow "$820 per month". That is HIS highlighting). I had told Christian on 10/1/26 that the skilled nursing facility (SNF), where my 89-year-old mom is recovering from 4 compression fractures in her spine, is requiring her to leave on 10/7/26. Therefore, I am looking to admit her to Merrill Gardens on 10/7/26. Christian told me yes, it is doable for me to complete their intake process in time to admit her on 10/7/26. I spent hours gathering my mother's medical documents, I paid the $8500 security deposit, I spent time filling out Merrill Garden's forms, and meeting (along with my mom) for 45 minutes with Merrill Garden's nurse, Parinda (who had forgotten our meeting and arrived 45 minutes late. Also, she had no idea that my mom needs admission on 10/7/26, she was completely clueless about that. In retrospect, that was a warning sign that Christian and Parinda were not working together to meet an admission date of 10/7/26). Then, later, literally JUST HOURS before the skilled nursing facility (SNF) was going to discharge my mom on 10/7/26, suddenly Christian at Merrill Garden informs me that no, actually, the cost is much higher that what he told me, because now their nurse, Parinda, feels that my mom needs a HIGH level of care. So now the cost is $5750 for studio, and a whopping $4950 for care. My mother needs care, but not to the tune of $5000 per month!! In a discussion on 10/4/26, Christian and I agreed that she probably needs eyes-on help during bathroom activities. She doens't need a lot outside of that, the eyes-on is the main part. I know what my mom needs, but I don't know enough to negotiate costs, which is a completely different topic. Another reason I cannot negotiate is the urgency of current circumstances. The more urgent one's circumstances, the bigger one's disadvantage in negotiating. Clearly, I am unable negotiate in a knowledgeableway, and Christian knows this, or ought to.
I will trust an organization that 1) provides accurate rates up front and doesn't change those rates on the day that we all agreed was the day I need to admit the family member to assisted living; 2) provides a needs assessment that factually reflects what the person needs, not inflated needs to get more money; and 3) tells me up front when they cannot meet my timeframe, instead of telling me, for days, that yes they can admit my family member on the date that I am seeking, but then, on the day of admission, suddenly they cannot admit unless I engage in a negotiation about costs. Merrill Gardens failed on all the foregoing. They are not trustworthy.
Christian told me he has been Community Relations Director at Merrill Garden for 3 years. Presumably, he has experience dealing with people trying to admit their family member to under tight timeframes. He knows what it takes, and how long, to complete the admission process. In my very first email and voicemail to him on Friday 10/1/26, I said and I wrote, I am seeking to admit my mom on 10/7/26. Christian should have told me immediately when he replied on 10/2/26: "Sorry, it is really unlikely we can meet that timeframe. We can aim for a later admission date, but 10/7/26 is too soon." I would have appreciated it. Instead, because he said yes we can absolutely complete the admission process in time to admit on 10/7/26, I wasted hour and hours of my time and energy to this goal. I could have spent that time arranging home health care, prior to my mom returning to her home on 10/7/26.
Christian's and Parinda's actions resulted not only in my mother being at home, unsafe, and me upending my life, again, to take care of her. Their actions have taught me not to trust people in their position.
Christian asked me to confer with him and his general manager to clarify things. Are you kidding? You two will just back each other up, don't'cha think?
The silver lining to all this is that I drove my mom home on 10/7/26. Luckily, she made it up the 6 steps to her front door without injuring herself, by holding heavily onto a rail. She has 4 compression fractures in her spine. After she ascended the 6 steps, she collapsed immediately in a chair that I shoved in front of her. For God's sake. These front steps are one reason, out of MANY, for my wish to take her directly to assisted living after rehab. Because I focused my efforts and time on completing the admission process for Merrill Gardens, I didn't instruct Kaiser to deliver durable medical equipment (hospital bed and wheelchair) to my mother's home. I didn't arrange for home care assistance. Thanks, Christian, Parinda, and the general manager at Merrill Gardens.
