For this faulty find, I only blame myself. The warning signs were there, I just ignored and…read moreignored in search of Thai food in Lisbon. Duck Tale had solid reviews on Yelp! Alas, I had my head in the stars, and missed what was on the ground right in front of me.
Writing on the wall:
1. When I arrived to Duck Tale at prime time on a Wednesday, the only other patrons were British tourists. We'll leave aside that Brits aren't exactly known for culinary prowess and simply focus on the fact that I generally enjoy places filled with a healthy crowd of locals or in-the-know expats.
2. Deepak was a kind and proficient server...of Nepali origins. A beautiful country, culture and cuisine in its own right, but perhaps not the authoritative experts on Thai or even pan-Asian cooking. I assumed he was front of house. The guys in the kitchen must know what they're doing, right?
3. After placing my order, the beeping began. That beeping, that wretched beeping! Aside from the occasional stuffy cockney chuckles from my dining room bedfellows, the loudest sound in Duck Tale was their microwave. Beep, beep, beep -- order in. Long tone -- dinner is served.
As for the meal itself, I ordered Vietnamese fresh spring rolls that were served to me warm with a small bowl of apple cider vinegar. My experience of fresh rolls from Vietnam to Cambodia, elsewhere in Europe and throughout the US is a cool, crisp and refreshing roll generally served with fish sauce or hoisin blended with peanut. This was none of that. This was two tiny rolls filled with oddly warm ingredients, lacking Thai basil, coriander, crunch or depth of flavor.
After 3 bites per roll, I was truly hopeful that Duck Tale had big things in store for the entrée. Perhaps fresh rolls just aren't their thing, ya know? I'd ordered the Thai green curry, and waited in anticipation, attempting to ignore the intensifying beeping emanating from the kitchen.
What arrived was a ghastly sight. A meagerly portioned plate of microwaved Indian curry mush with uncooked tofu and other ingredients mixed about after the fact. It had a rich, buttery, ghee flavor without heat, coconut oil, or anything remotely reminiscent of Thai green curry. I'd potentially call this dish "Indian Green Curry", but even that would be an insult to 1.2 billion people.
In closing, I'm fairly certain that no cooking had actually transpired in the preparation and service of my meal. To own a microwave and some plates does not a restaurateur make. Do us a favor Duck Tale, hire or a real chef or hightail it outta here.
