With the pressure of funeral homes and relatives calling me to make a decision on what to do with my mama's body, I looked up eco-friendly burial options and called Return Home as a shot in the dark. I had dealt with so many careless and insensitive funeral home directors, my expectations were tragically low, but from the moment I came into contact with Katey, I felt some of the first relief and trust to surrender into this monumental transition. Katey followed up with me immediately, through phone call and text, breaking the professional stoicism which had become a pattern with other death-related companies/services. From the jump, I felt like Katey was truly invested in helping me and finding out what I needed & how to help me accomplish the vision I had for returning my mama to the earth. This care extended beyond payment to support us through this physical transition from start to finish...
Throughout every single step of the process, Katey was helpful and responsive, going above and beyond to respond to late night questions/concerns, and making herself completely accessible to me and my family while my mamas body was in her care. When it came time to set my mamas vessel, I told Katey that my mama loved brightly colored flowers, and that morning she went specially to pick up a vibrant arrangement to lay on top of her remains; an image which brought my heart a sense of joy amidst the immense pain of loss. She also placed my mama's vessel next to a child's, sharing with me that whenever she received a child she would lay them next to someone who she knew would take good care of them. The amount of reverence, awareness, and intention given to this process was above and beyond anything I had experienced or would expect from a typical funeral home/crematory.
Katey assisted me from start to finish; personally picking up my mama's body from the airport (a stark comparison to the funeral home of origin- who initially had my mamas body, charged me triple rates to hire a third party transportation service to the airport, and were extremely difficult to contact). She provided more service at a fraction of the cost. It felt clear that her intention and mission extended beyond sole financial gain, to truly support and comfort those who are in mourning, making it as easeful as possible. This was one of the first comforts I was able to receive throughout those initial waves of grief.
My mama and I used to talk about reincarnating as redwood trees, and other natural wonders. Return Home enabled us to fulfill this vision; mixing the mulch of my mama's remains with potting soil, we planted a redwood tree and dozens of flowers across our garden (which she spent so much time and love on while she was here). Returning her to a place she loved so dearly, to grow anew, was a beautiful tribute which I can rest easy knowing she would have loved. My dad, younger brother, and I spent an entire week planting and releasing together in reverence and deep awareness of the cyclical nature of existence.
Additionally, we made over 100 small pouches in biodegradable/plantable seedling bags, filled with mama's mulch, soil, and wildflower seeds- which we gave out at her celebration of life- to be planted by the hands of many who loved her, in the places and spaces they love most, providing physical pillars of her love, and reminding us of her joy. She loved to visit people's favorite forests, nature spots, and gardens- these pouches enable her to do so, to grow roots, and to enrich this earth beyond her life.
I tested these baggies and whether they were opened or planted whole, they are a great success and I currently have dozens of seedling pots sprouting a myriad of mystery flowers, fertilized by my mama, to be returned to our great mother.
While nothing about this experience has been comfortable, Return Home allowed us to create immense beauty of our pain. And rather than seeing my mama as a plastic bag of ashes or a hedge stone in the ground; she is in the flowers and trees which surround me, lain across the gardens of our loved ones and sprinkled throughout fairy forests, rooted by the physical manifestation of bright blossoms and foliage, and accessible through my connection with nature itself.
After all was said and done, I received a follow up call from the CEO of Return Home, Micah. I was elated to be able to tell him about all that we had created through their services, and we ended up talking for a long while about death itself, both in avid agreement about the misinformation most receive concerning human remains, and the disconnection from a hands-on approach to death taught by our society. We aim to challenge this, to find a better way, and Return Home is doing exactly that.
I recommend this process and this company to all who are ready to find another way, a gentler way, more in tune with nature itself.. completing the cycle of life by returning home. read more