Due to the impending loss of my mom, the anticipatory grief has been plaguing me. I did research to…read morefind a provider whom my insurance covers. I found Doug Maesk. I explained the situation to him in our first meeting. He seemed kind and receptive initially and he shared some basic coping mechanisms to manage some of these unfamiliar feelings.
Within the first couple of sessions, he requested I pay $150 for an online assessment in order to come up with a 'diagnosis'.
Here's the thing, I did not come here to be pigeonholed, I am a
jovial, self sufficient, productive, well-adjusted, educated business owner and single mom who is on the cusp of losing her favorite person. Finite situation. Starting November 2020, I have been 1400 miles from my children, significant other, dog, home and life, in order to help my beautiful mother go through pancreatic cancer. I needed someone professional to talk to since I have not only been her caregiver, watching her slowly deteriorate, I also have barely seen my children and my beloved.
Apparently he doesn't have the training to 'diagnose' someone without relying on some assessment he wanted me to pay out of pocket for, when he knew I've barely been able to work, due to my mother needing my 24/7 attention.
When he asked me to pay for this assessment, I wondered how the Diagnostic Statistics Manual Five even came to be, if self-proclaimed experts in the field of psychology needed something else to figure it out ... And furthermore make them pay for it.
I had explained to him that my time is overlapping with constant responsibilities around the clock and even taking the time to write this review to warn others of the way this man practices, is cutting into my late night work hours.
So after 8 sessions with Doug and apart from a few minor tactics to help me cope, when I told him I had bought a new mattress (with a deferred payment and long term no interest payment plan), in order to help my insomnia and difficulty sleeping, which as we all know, everything starts with sleep, even Doug knows that. However, instead of being glad I provided self-care to improve this living horror, Doug had the nerve to GIVE ME A HARD TIME ABOUT HOW I CAN AFFORD TO BUY A BED BUT NOT PAY FOR HIS 'Let's have some out of pocket expense do my job for me' assessment! Excuse me? So now he is counting my money without knowing how I am paying for something that is an absolute PRIORITY. His assessment should be done based on HIS knowledge of what he claims to be an expert in. My refusal to take this assessment, I'm pretty sure was a lingering point of contention for him against me. Probably realized he wasn't going to be able to squeeze any extra money from me which fed into his reasons for literally giving up on helping me through my horrible situation.
Even in a conversation with a psychiatrist whom I had the fortune to speak with for a brief time, agreed that someone who actually knows how to psychoanalyze someone, should not need an external resource to do so. She thought it was both strange and uncharacteristic of such a practice and wondered who would be getting the money for that assessment. She believed he is lining his pockets, as do I. Especially since he was so offended that I wouldn't spend more of my hard earned money on something he should be able to do on his own by simply getting to know someone over the course of time. Another layer is, he claimed that my insurance wouldn't pay him without a diagnosis. Okay, so than wouldn't it be safe to say that if my insurance insisted on this assessment, they would be picking up the tab for it? It is clear to me now this was his way to take more money and line those pockets.
After a few more sessions, I was letting it go and chalking it up to it being a moot issue since I was only there for a finite situation and simply needed someone, other than my boyfriend to lay the weight of this nearly impossible situation onto. I'm trapped in my childhood home with my dying mother away from my children and life, my ex husband moving illegally far away and me not being able to fight to keep my kids with me because of the uncertainty with my mom and her condition. I just needed to vent to someone with some level of professional understanding of grief and life challenges, and if he had any reasonable, sound advice to provide, I'd be happy to receive it.
However, knowing that I have basically no time for even self care, he asked me to 'do homework' and listen to some episode from 60 minutes. Well that would be great if I had 60 minutes to spare! And was planning to get to it as soon as time would permit. As it was, fitting in a 45 minute session with him was a squeeze, but I prioritized it. So when I told him the following week that I didn't have a chance to watch/listen, he basically decided that he can't help me anymore and dumped me as a client! Appalling!
Apparently, he never actually understood the assignment!
