NOTHING MORE THAN A REALLY EXPENSIVE WETHERSPOON Wow, where to start? Firstly as a professional Chef myself I was actually ashamed the guys in the kitchen call themselves chefs as there was obviously so little care and attention over their food. Moreover I was appalled that the menu actually purported to celebrate British food as it clearly doesn't, unless they mean ready meals. My partner and myself stopped off for a bite to eat at Stammer house on a Friday evening and the place was deserted (we can now see why) and in all honesty the beautiful house and surroundings is hiding the fact that it is basically an expensive Wetherspoons.My partner had the Sussex Cod and Chips with Homemade Tartar Sauce and Chunky Chips £13.95 (£9.95 for a small) and small merlot at £4.30 that was advised by the waitress but was quite oxidized like it had been open for a day or so. When her food arrived it honestly didn't look that bad. However, as she explored each component on the plate she seemed to enjoy her food less to the point where I asked her what was wrong to which she asked me to taste it.The cod was defiantly cooked from frozen and slightly stale and was so tasteless that I thought that they were serving a cheap fish like Coley on the sly, but inspecting the skin you could see that it was definitely Cod. This was hardly a way to celebrate British produce and was definitely a way to waste a diminishing resource. The Home-made Tartar sauce was bought in cheap mayonnaise with one or two flecks of capers, no gherkin and shallots cut way too chunky, so the only discernible taste apart from cheap mayo was the occasional bite of raw onion. However, the major problem with this component is that that home-made means Home-made not, Buy in the main body and then garnish badly.Chunky Chips some were hard and under cooked and none of them hot Mushy Peas, they like many chefs confuse mushy pea with pea puree and made the latter and Ok this really doesn't matter but my main problem was that they were pea in colour not taste as they were watery and grainy. This was not only expensive fish and chips it was by far and away the worst I have eaten in a long while. If you're looking for good pub style Fish and chips, visit the guys at Pub Du Vin it is slightly cheaper and uses fresh ingredients to make it one of the best F&C in Bton. Then we come to my Cajun chicken Burger which cost £12.95. without the chips which I skipped and asked for a salad instead. If they were as bad as my partner's then I dodged a bullet there. However, my chips were subbed for a plain bowl of leaf, no tomato onion or the like leaving me with a huge bowl or rabbit food but at least there was the burger. However on inspection my burger was only consisted of half a chicken fillet and a small one at that. The chicken apart from the fact that in my £13 burger there was about 75P- £1 worth of chicken in it was also really flavourless. Not frozen this time but really if I was asked to describe the taste it would be Hmm, not quite sure it doesn't taste of much and definitely could have benefited from some proper spicing, if they are to call it Cajun as I would call it bland.I have definitely had far better burgers for far far less. For a decent burger at a fraction of the price try the Old Bank (Hove or Kemptown) but to be honest any one of Brighton's kebab houses that don't serve deep-fried giant chicken nuggets as burgers definitely serves a better burger.Then there was the service and, sorry to compare this with Wetherspoons again, but come on guys, this was shocking. I have never sat in an actual restaurant where I felt actively ignored which actually increased as soon as it was plain that we were not enjoying our meal.I'll quickly skip over the fact that on a quiet night 20- 25 covers it took roughly 10 minutes and 5 different staff members at least walking past without even welcoming us or saying that they would be with us in a minute to get a table. Later when asking for oil and balsamic to dress my salad I was brought out vegetable oil and something sweet and black and blatantly not balsamic, the combination of which is revolting . Once I had managed to hail my magic disappearing waitress, as she was obviously not going to come anywhere near our table in the near deserted dining room, she told me that it was oil and balsamic reduction like it should be a treat (if this is a treat I'm so glad we left after only one course and skipped desert) Firstly, veg oil is revolting to taste in its raw form and should only be used for cooking and secondly that was not balsamic and I'm so glad that I didn't order anything with balsamic reduction as this may have led to me stalking the halls hunting for a waitress to complain to. She then returned with olive oil and balsamic and a comment on my disapproval (literally, I had to get a glass from the other table to pour off about a of a pint of olive oil to get at the balsamic she was obviously taking the micky) before read more