Located in this peculiar town, open late, workin that kitchen like their MOTHERS LIFE depends on it.... BOLI'S man. This place GOT YOUR BACK. My band had a show in this area and we were so stoked to come across this gem. We come from north Jersey so you know how we are with our food Yea hahaha we're italian we have funny accents but most importantly we only eat cheese straight out of the cows ass and we tongue kiss our grandmas Yea Hahahahaha Get bent fucko. We didn't have high expectations as we GPS'd the only seemingly open eatery at this hour. Fuck me sideways cause this whole experience was utterly sensational from the moment we laid eyes on Boli's as we pulled in, to our last stumbles out the door, leading to the most blissful piss of our lives in the glorious , monumental parking lot of Boli's. Not a SINGLE MILLISECOND went by where we felt less than first-class citizens. First off, VERY welcoming, breathe of fresh air after having just been kicked out of this bowling alley. Fuck that place. Guitar player got a sandwich and mozz sticks, he doesn't even remember what kind of sandwich as we were sufficiently sloshed, but he DOES remember being FULLY EMERGED in pure ecstasy as he annihilated this meal. No blood shits. Already a great start if you ask me. Our other guitarist ordered a spicy chicken sandwich and French fries. I watched the life come back into her eyes. She believed in humanity again. She saw God and he told her there IS in fact a cure for AIDS. Only people that eat this meal at Pizza Boli's have had this experience . And I take their damn word for it. Drummer had NO less than a fuckin FEAST. Like everything on the menu, with a smoothie to drink. Dude, where ELSE can you get Stromboli, spicy chicken, all of your faith in the failing economy and sick dying children restored, AND a SMOOTHIE, all in the same joint. I personally did not order any food. My appetite was demolished by this bozo bowling attendant (?) whatever the fuck you call them, when he made me feel like a piece of shit. There's two types of people in this world; people that work at that bowling alley that DO NOT fuck, and the heros that work at Pizza Boli, that ABSOLUTELY DO fuck. Anyways, I will forever regret not just sucking it up and shoving some of their fine cuisine down my fucking throat, I really missed out on a rare opportunity and feel like a complete shlub. Would leave my best friends wedding reception, as maid of honor in a heartbeat if you told me Pizza Bolis needed my presence for any reason. The ambiance of this establishment was immaculate. While I sweat, grind my teeth, and ponder my existence in bed every night , SOLEY because I live NO WHERE fucking near Boli's, I will forever cherish this memory, as you should yourself. Concluding this review, if you EAT FOOD ( even you enema people cause I'm sure Boli's can accommodate you) , if you enjoy life in even the slightest capacity, and if YOU FUCK and happen to be passing through....
GET YOUR ASS TO PIZZA BOLIS. WRITE THAT ON MY GRAVE GOD DAMMIT. GOODNIGHT. read more