This review has been overdue for a while as I went through a lot of the old cliche adage, "I did a lot of soul searching" on whether to post something. I don't like giving bad reviews considering I did get a *few* good tips from Dr. Paul's insights. But given how much money I have spent on his services and finally now seeing clearly his methodology and preaching, I need to give an honest assessment incase others on here come across his psychiatry and they deserve to know what they're getting themselves into.
I will start clearly stating that Dr. Paul is at most levels, a textbook psychiatrist. I'm not sure how much real life experience he has dealing with large groups of people on an intimate/real friendship level beyond his practice... as he even claims that he doesn't believe working in a corporation because he doesn't fit in that environment. That is scary considering I'm assuming many of his La Jolla clients are going to him to neander through the corporate ladders today, but that's just the tip of it...
A lot what he talks about - and relays in his books (if you go into his group "class" sessions, you are required to do some reading) are purely conceptual and abstract ideas. I've gone to enough counselors to finally figure out that while these concepts may be profound to think about from a cognitive, rationalization viewpoint... how can one appropriately apply to real human beings? Much of his "teachings" are about meeting other people's needs, wants and understand in order to gain happiness. Yes, that is a basic principle in psychiatry, we all get that. But so much of what he talks about is so convoluted in not meeting or taking care of the self's own needs that this actually becomes co-dependent on making others happy first, you second. (very Confuciusism and he will say much of that he got was from his Eastern philosophy education) Instead, he will tell you that life's happiness will come largely from non-human pleasantries like nature, animals, hiking, music... which don't get me wrong, are nice to observe and temporarily fill in our empty void. But come on people, most of us don't live in the woods like John Muir.. we have real lives that involve being at a workplace, dealing with multiple personalities and real life challenges and scenarios.
I felt like the reason I was going down WAS for the very reasons he was teaching and was growing frustrated that instead of hearing helpful advice, I was routinely being downsized, ridiculed or "put in my place." He talked about his other patients negatively when they weren't even there. This is how he operates his group sessions too: He goes around, takes apart every person's character defect (which hey, is okay if you want that) with much cynicism. Oh wait, cynicism is supposed to be funny!
Several times I went in with hope in healing and finding understanding (which he preaches about and I understand), but I left.. feeling depleted, depressed and negative. More than that, I would often hear one thing and contradict himself the next: Be humble, don't be outstanding - yet he plastered photos of himself everywhere on his books. Right. I often left feeling negative about the world, negative about others, myself and hopes of elevating myself. Sure, I gained understanding... but I wasn't any happier. Therapists aren't supposed to do that to you... they're supposed to encourage you to get yourself back up, gain energy to seize your problems and move out of your hole. Instead, I felt like Dr. Paul wanted me to just keep coming back - as he would incidentally promote about his upcoming teaching sessions in hopes of me signing up. He actually refused to answer my questions saying that I did not have the knowledge to apply them into my daily life. Yeah, that's a bit f!#%'d up? Who's the paying customer here? I should've reported him to the BBB right then and there.
I'm not a psychiatry major, but a friend of mine who is told me that Dr. Paul's own self-concept is so skewed (like many other therapists) and grand on himself. Therefore, he doesn't even know about his own problems and instead of nourishing me with the tools to empower myself, I felt belittled and resigned.
Mind you, this is my opinion and my opinion only. If you are looking for someone who is has a pessimistic viewpoint of life (oh, excuse me... he says he's "realistic") - and to "tell you" how to think, then he's your guy. I don't know about you, but with all the baggage I've had in my past and given how tough work and real life can be many times over, I know notions like hope and optimism are key drivers for keeping me sane and hoping to improve my way of life. If you go into Dr. Paul's office with a shred of optimism, he will close your happiness in no time flat - and gladly insult you while at it. read more