I have visited with Dr. Hatherley from time to time over the last 25 years and have found his work to be incredibly useful. I have a Masters Degree in Clinical Psychology myself! Dr. Hatherley is NOT a Psychiatrist, as the previous review stated; that would require a medical component; rather, he is an exceptionally gifted Psychologist and Teacher. All of mankind is out there "trying to be happy" in a world that is growing more complex and demanding by the day. Few realize that happiness is a RESULT of leading a satisfying life. Dr. Hatherley has provided me with a sure and steady pathway of growth over the years which has resulted in a sense of satisfaction with my life. I met him at age 34; I am now 61. Dr. Hatherley does have a dry sense of humor which perhaps takes a little getting used to. It is intelligent humor and not designed to be belittling or rude at all and it comes from a caring heart. There is value in levity when dealing with life's serious issues. Perhaps this Renee C. may not have been ready to look at him/herself. In which case it's easier to to criticize the Doctor than take the medicine. Dr. Hatherley is a world class Psychologist who should be on PBS broadcasting. His work is unique and extraordinarily important. Kay G read more

This review has been overdue for a while as I went through a lot of the old cliche adage, "I did a lot of soul searching" on whether to post something. I don't like giving bad reviews considering I did get a *few* good tips from Dr. Paul's insights. But given how much money I have spent on his services and finally now seeing clearly his methodology and preaching, I need to give an honest assessment incase others on here come across his psychiatry and they deserve to know what they're getting themselves into. I will start clearly stating that Dr. Paul is at most levels, a textbook psychiatrist. I'm not sure how much real life experience he has dealing with large groups of people on an intimate/real friendship level beyond his practice... as he even claims that he doesn't believe working in a corporation because he doesn't fit in that environment. That is scary considering I'm assuming many of his La Jolla clients are going to him to neander through the corporate ladders today, but that's just the tip of it... A lot what he talks about - and relays in his books (if you go into his group "class" sessions, you are required to do some reading) are purely conceptual and abstract ideas. I've gone to enough counselors to finally figure out that while these concepts may be profound to think about from a cognitive, rationalization viewpoint... how can one appropriately apply to real human beings? Much of his "teachings" are about meeting other people's needs, wants and understand in order to gain happiness. Yes, that is a basic principle in psychiatry, we all get that. But so much of what he talks about is so convoluted in not meeting or taking care of the self's own needs that this actually becomes co-dependent on making others happy first, you second. (very Confuciusism and he will say much of that he got was from his Eastern philosophy education) Instead, he will tell you that life's happiness will come largely from non-human pleasantries like nature, animals, hiking, music... which don't get me wrong, are nice to observe and temporarily fill in our empty void. But come on people, most of us don't live in the woods like John Muir.. we have real lives that involve being at a workplace, dealing with multiple personalities and real life challenges and scenarios. I felt like the reason I was going down WAS for the very reasons he was teaching and was growing frustrated that instead of hearing helpful advice, I was routinely being downsized, ridiculed or "put in my place." He talked about his other patients negatively when they weren't even there. This is how he operates his group sessions too: He goes around, takes apart every person's character defect (which hey, is okay if you want that) with much cynicism. Oh wait, cynicism is supposed to be funny! Several times I went in with hope in healing and finding understanding (which he preaches about and I understand), but I left.. feeling depleted, depressed and negative. More than that, I would often hear one thing and contradict himself the next: Be humble, don't be outstanding - yet he plastered photos of himself everywhere on his books. Right. I often left feeling negative about the world, negative about others, myself and hopes of elevating myself. Sure, I gained understanding... but I wasn't any happier. Therapists aren't supposed to do that to you... they're supposed to encourage you to get yourself back up, gain energy to seize your problems and move out of your hole. Instead, I felt like Dr. Paul wanted me to just keep coming back - as he would incidentally promote about his upcoming teaching sessions in hopes of me signing up. He actually refused to answer my questions saying that I did not have the knowledge to apply them into my daily life. Yeah, that's a bit f!#%'d up? Who's the paying customer here? I should've reported him to the BBB right then and there. I'm not a psychiatry major, but a friend of mine who is told me that Dr. Paul's own self-concept is so skewed (like many other therapists) and grand on himself. Therefore, he doesn't even know about his own problems and instead of nourishing me with the tools to empower myself, I felt belittled and resigned. Mind you, this is my opinion and my opinion only. If you are looking for someone who is has a pessimistic viewpoint of life (oh, excuse me... he says he's "realistic") - and to "tell you" how to think, then he's your guy. I don't know about you, but with all the baggage I've had in my past and given how tough work and real life can be many times over, I know notions like hope and optimism are key drivers for keeping me sane and hoping to improve my way of life. If you go into Dr. Paul's office with a shred of optimism, he will close your happiness in no time flat - and gladly insult you while at it. read more

Several years ago i was waking up depressed and wondering if this was all there is to life. I had everything I had always wanted externally but still felt miserable and could not make any sense of it. I started working with Dr. Paul just to feel better about myself but discovered he was much more than just a therapist. He is a teacher of how to live with fulfillment and love your life and those in it. For instance, he teaches how to define your internal needs to be happy and that to love someone else it is really important to take care of your own needs first before you can genuinely take care of another person. One way I take care of my needs is by spending time in nature and really paying close attention with my senses, mind and emotions. This satisfies a need in me to renew by filling my senses with beauty and my emotions with inspiration and caring for life and for the people in my life. This is a contrast in how I used to be in nature which was moving so fast hiking, biking or sking that I missed the whole experience of being there! The experience was more empty than fulfilling and did nothing to change me or how I approached life. I approach all of my life now paying much closer attention to every part of it and as a result have closer connections with the people I love than I ever had before. I have had plenty of challenges in life and made some very human mistakes. Dr. Paul's work has helped my understand myself, learn from my mistakes and actually be happy in spite of life's inevitable pains and losses. I highly recommend working with Dr.Paul and reading his books for anyone who wants to live with enduring fulfillment in the personal, professional and relationship parts of their life. And, bring your teenagers to see him. He can save them alot of time from making some of the same mistakes we did as we developed into adults! R.G. read more

I just wanted to write a little thank you to Dr. Hatherley. Really, how do you thank someone for giving you a life? What could be better than being emotionally independent? I had no idea I could create this level of contentment all by myself. Before I saw Dr. Hatherley or went to his classes, my main purpose in life was to be, "successfully dependent". I didn't know that was my purpose but it is obvious to me now. I wanted my husband to fulfill me emotionally and even my children. This created an adversarial relationship with him and my poor children were neglected and had to fend for themselves. I comforted myself by saying that they became very independent. I personally vacillated between depression and anger but never budged from my expectations and entitlements. The problem was I didn't even know what I was hungry for. Dr. Hatherley helped me see that I was totally responsible for my own internal happiness. What a blow that was! But he also taught me what I was hungry for and how to feed myself (that is, take care of my own mental and emotional needs). Wow! Who would ever have thought that I could learn how to feed myself, (was I ever an infant). I have had a lot of tragedies in my life especially in the last 10 years and I keep thinking, "I shouldn't be this happy and content" but I am. I now know how to create my own happiness on a daily basis. And surprisingly I don't start at zero everyday like I did most of my life. Everything I learn creates a foundation that doesn't go away, my happiness builds day after day as my contentment deepens. After I learned how to feed myself I became full enough to give to my children and friends, they even turn to me when they have problems (they think I am wise). My ex-husband and I are even friends and now paradoxically (now that I am not trying to get anything from him) he wants to give to me. Even my business has tripled since I started learning from Dr. Hatherley. I can now see my clients perspective (which they love). Many of the needs I learned from Dr. Hatherley are universal, so I can give to my clients in ways they have never experience in their lives. I even teach some of them how to do it for themselves. I even teach all the things I learned from Dr. Hatherley to my children and grandchildren. I have also become a sensual person thanks to Dr. Hatherley. I know how to consciously fill my senses and I now have a passion for nature, music, gardening, photography, poetry and hiking. These passions make everyday a joy, plus they renew me which helps with my independence. This wasn't easy and I did have to face some brutal facts about myself but I am really thankful I stayed with it through the tough parts and the times I didn't understand Dr. Hatherley"s purposes. The only thing I am really sorry for is that I didn't learn all this sooner in life. PS There is nothing, absolutely nothing, more meaningful to me than the training I have received from Dr. Hatherley. Thank You. read more

I went to Dr. Paul Hatherley about a year ago as a referral from one of my friends. At the time, I had been recently diagnosed with a life-threatening illness and needed someone to help me sort it out. Prior to meeting Dr. Hatherly, I had been to numerous self-help groups, attended several motivational seminars, practiced many spiritual techniques and read over 1000 books on self-development. While I was being faced with the biggest challenge of my life, not one of these seminars or books was of any help. I felt lost and had nowhere to turn, Dr. Hatherley was my only hope. It only took one session to realize something about his work was entirely different than anything else I had ever experienced. He told me that it wasn't traditional therapy, but training for mental and emotional development. We began to dissect my inner turmoil and I started to understand some of the major issues that had been causing deep layers of tension that normal stress-reduction techniques such as yoga, meditation or deep breathing didn't help long-term. I realized that my life lacked real purpose and meaning, and my overall relationships with life, myself, my children, my family and friends was lacking a meaningful, satisfying connection. And, even though I was self-confident, I still lacked inherent self-worth and much of my confidence was felt because I had the approval of others. As much as I thought I was living in the moment, I realized I actually lived too fast and always thought about the future, which created a gnawing, deep down feeling of sadness and disappointment . I also had 2 failed marriages and didn't understand why I still had such a difficult time with relationships and ultimately closed down because love seemed too painful. After working with Dr. Hatherley for a year now, even though I am still dealing with my life-threatening illness, I am happier than I have ever could of imagined! I have slowed down and have learned to connect my senses to my experiences, life itself seems so precious to me now. All of my relationships, especially with my children have become closer and I have new communication skills to continue to deepen the closeness and satisfaction in every relationship I choose! I have a stronger sense of my value and no longer try to knock myself out winning the approval of every human being that crosses my path! I am opening myself back up to the possibility of love in an intimate relationship and have a greater understanding of went wrong in the past. I am developing a clearer sense of my life purpose and even though my life may be shortened because of disease (or who knows what, we never know our last day!) I am determined to make the most of every part of my life and not a day goes by that hasn''t been meaningful in some way! I am so thankful to have a "real" experience of life filled with excitement and energy, and I owe a lot of it to the work I've done with Dr. Paul Hatherley! read more