Where to start.
How about with, this is the worst cinema I have ever been too? Is that a good enough start?
It's very rare I get angry about reviewing places but the Omniplex in the Swan centre has literally driven me to anger.
So this cinema is around the corner from my house, very handy. It used to be the Swan cinema which was a great cinema. It had a big screen or two, showed good films had character and was basically really good. It was a bit more expensive than say the Cineworld, which I didn't mind as it kept the dregs of cinema going out. You know the talkers, over noisy eaters, the rude, the people turning up late sort of people. Then one day it closed and started being redeveloped. Great I thought maybe they will make it even better update the sound and projectors maybe make it top notch? How wrong can you be?
I've been here a few times now, mainly because we got some vouchers for Christmas. Every time I go I get more and more wound up by the place! What's wrong with it?
The screens
Now there are more of them. But they are tiny, seriously with the advent of affordable 42 inch tv's you go to watch a picture on a big screen! The rooms are thin oblong boxes designed to get as many screens packed in as possible. If you sit at the side, the speakers which hang on the wall basically block your view of the screen there is literally no space either side of the claustrophobic coffin cinema you are in.
Projection
Surely a new cinema will have state of the art projectors? Well they might be for all I know, but unfortunately to save on cost I would guess it looks to me like they are either saving on projector rooms or couldn't fit the projectors in. The projectors are located in the far corners in at least two of the screens. This means that the parallax of the picture has to be adjusted to make it sort of seem normal. This means that the whole picture is on a slant!!!!! Seriously when the credits roll out its at about 3-4 degrees. It's ridiculous, absolutely rubbish.
Sound
Surely a new cinema will have state of the art sound? Well they might have for all I know, but unfortunately to save on cost the sound proofing is terrible in some screens. You can hear normal cars going past outside! Seagulls squawking! Add to this in some screens the air con is so loud you literally are p*ssed off by it the entire film!
Seats
Surely a new cinema will have state of the art seats? Actually they are not bad I will give them this one. Although I did find on the back row in the corner I basically had to sit forward to see all of the screen because the room is so small and it projects almost to the ground. Oh and also if someone gets up because the ceiling is so low you get a shadow on the screen of the person walking past. Something I have not seen in a long time!
Clientele
Ok so now the cinema is cheaper basically it's full of idiots. The last time I went two guys turned up late talking all the way up the stairs, then continued talking constantly. We moved eventually but this isn't a one off. Seriously if you want to check your phone, or talk to someone stay at home you dickhead. I didn't pay money to come to this cinema and listen to you talk. Oh and don't go on Tuesdays it might be fiver (which is cheap I'll give you that ) but it's like a cattle market.
Vibe
The Swan cinema used to have a great vibe and now it's a sterile, cut down version of Cineworld. A Cineworld-lite.
MAXX
So the big selling point of the cinema is you can watch films in MAXX!!! Ooo is that like IMAX I thought? The answer is no. The screen is basically smaller than the big screen used to be at the Swan Cinema. It's probably even smaller than what I would consider a decent size cinema. The sound and picture are ok but it still suffers from all the other issues.
Overall
The worst, most depressing cinema I've ever had the misfortune to go to. Thank you Omniplex for taking a great local cinema and destroying it with your Cineworld-lite sterile useless cinema. read more