Briefly - avoid at all costs.
The premises is a dark, dingy, musty shanty. The majority of the staff are pleasant enough, but the owner is an angry, aggressive, bitter old man who has banished more visitors from his shoddy little pub than Kim Jong-Il has from North Korea.
The toilets are basic; smelly and rarely stocked with toilet paper or soap. In the men's room, the urinal is little more than a painted wall, a trough cut into the floor and an opening to sewerage pipes for the waste to drain through.
The prices are fairly standard for the area, but given this pub is a squalid rat trap in dire need of modernisation, the prices should be more akin to a 'members bar' price than the average price of the nearest watering hole.
Seating is not unlike the seats you would find on a 1980's bus - uncomfortable short hair stools with rogue springs sporadically poking you in the bum. The carpet is, as you would imagine from a 30 year old pub carpet, so ingrained with alcohol that it has basically become a sticky, sugary laminate floor.
The glassware seems cloudy, almost as if the grime is so embedded that it has become an existential part of the glassware. The spirits are cheap (yet charged at a premium), and the lack of diversity when it comes to top shelf spirits is, quite frankly, embarrassing.
Fortunately, food is not on offer in this dirty, disgusting hole.There is, however, a small selection of nuts, crisps and confectionery, but I would advise checking the Use-By dates, as the last packet of nuts I bought were out of date (I was banished for pointing this out).
As far as entertainment goes, there is a fruit machine in the corner, beside the toilet. It too has been religiously bathed in alcohol since day dot, so the buttons stick and the lights are temperamental.
All in all, if you're looking for a nice pub, there are plenty in the area that you can try. If you're looking for Hep C, then The Wherry Tavern in Gourock is your place. read more