As a pregnant woman, it is so important to have the right people with you who value your desires, will support your decisions and who will work with you to make sure you are heard and respected. I am so grateful that I hired Whitney as my doula for the birth of my third baby. My first baby was born at a hospital, the second at a birth center and I desired a home birth for my third. Then... the pandemic hit and I was so afraid I'd have to give birth without my support people and not where I wanted.
Whitney...gosh what an AMAZING woman... she was critical in ensuring I got to give birth how I wanted, where I wanted and with my family present.
I am, by no means, a wallflower or someone who gives in easily... but in the face of a pandemic I was being told by my care provider (not Whitney) that I "might" be allowed to give birth how I wanted to. Words like "that will probably be ok" and "we'll do our best to accommodate you" were used. When I shared with Whitney that I was so stressed that my wishes might "not be respected" and it probably "wouldn't be ok" and that my wishes might "not be accommodated" all while in labor, she was there for me. She is the one who listened to my concerns and heard all of the ways I intended to keep my care provider safe (total isolation leading up to birth, etc.) but still wasn't being guaranteed to have the birth I wanted.
She spent so much time finding out who I am, what works for me, how I process things in stressful situations, how I like to be touched (something that was a major issue with my hospital birth) and how important it was that my daughter be present along with my husband. She gave me the strength to recognize I needed to stand up for myself, not be passive in this monumental life experience and get what I wanted because what I wanted was important and not remotely unreasonable.
All that support and love all occurred before the first wave/contraction even happened. Leading up to the birth, she checked in with me constantly, which was so critical to my well-being, considering everyone was still on lockdown due to the pandemic and I didn't get to be around people, show off my bump, go shopping, celebrate, etc. She made me feel seen and important while we were all ordered to stay at home. I'll always appreciate that.
We were texting one night (40w2d) and I was telling her I was soooo ready for the baby to come. She suggested I try moving my hips in figure 8's. I did one figure 8 and felt a pop! It was go time!
She encouraged me, supported me, joked with me and kept me in such a positive headspace. When she arrived, we laughed a lot and she took care of me the way ALL laboring mamas should be treated. There was nothing but good energy, laughter, love, grace and kindness the whole time.
When I had questions, she gave me confidence to look within myself to find the answers. When I began to have doubts, she helped me see that I needed to let myself go with the flow. I remember the beautiful words she used to help me visual our baby being welcomed into the world. And the most amazing part of all (as if all the preceding information wasn't amazing enough, right?) was how she treated my daughter. I wanted my daughter present if possible. Whitney gave my daughter specific tasks so my daughter felt an important part of the birth. Whitney treated my daughter like a true member of the birth team and took photos of us that made me cry when I saw them the next day. Whitney was also so great with my husband too. They had a great comradery through the whole process and it was so great that my husband had support and love too.
Whitney was so supportive during transition and when I was pushing, I clearly heard her words encouraging me. I definitely felt the 'fight or flight moment', that 'between a rock and a hard place' moment, and her voice was so clear, calming and helpful to get me through that moment.
The love she showered upon me, my daughter, my husband and our new baby was incredible. I'm so grateful. After my baby was born Whitney used all of her "magic tricks" to immediately slow down my brain so that I could bond with my sweet baby.
And I haven't even touched on the aftercare, where she came to love on me and love on my baby!
So if you're thinking about hiring a doula - please take the time to meet with Whitney - you'll know in your heart when you meet her that she's a wonderful human being, with a kind soul and destined for this type of work. I wish all mamas had the option to hire her and have that kind of love. read more