We hadn't even heard of doulas until we learned our little guy was on the way. After learning the…read moreconcept, the first questions my wife and I had were: (a) "You have one chance to get a birth right, so who wouldn't want to work with a birth doula?" and (b) "We have one chance to work with the right doula, so how will we know her when we see her?" We had researched probably 15 doulas near Boston, but kept coming back to Emma O'Brien of Lavandoula Birth Doula and Herbalist Services. Her DoulaMatch reviews impressed us, and Emma's site shows a glimpse of her knowledge, philosophy, and kind and relaxing nature. We knew Emma was the one before we even met her, and our first meeting confirmed our gut feeling, so we said "Just Do(u) It."
We don't know what the birth experience would have been like without Emma, but we're certain it wouldn't have gone as well. A few of many reasons we loved working with Emma:
1. She adds calmness when it's most needed. Of course, a doula needs to prepare Mom & Friends and make them aware of challenges. But it's easy to go too far and add to the stress. Emma sets the right pace, often by calming things down. Working with Emma doesn't bring any bad surprises, so you can be prepared for the inevitable surprises of labor and delivery.
2. She's knowledgeable medically. You would hope a doula knows the medicine and mechanics, but you also can't take that for granted. One example is her Spinning Babies knowledge, which proved useful in turning our son head-down (he had been breach) a couple of months before D-Day, and in enabling dilation.
3. Emma is generous with her time. She could double her rates and her help still would be a no-brainer. Also, she's willing to meet at a convenient place during the pregnancy (in our case, at the Dedham Square Coffeehouse). Emma doesn't assume the labor and delivery will be quick, easy, or convenient, and she makes it clear that she's available for anything.
4. She helps with the birth plan, and knows what should and shouldn't go into it. We nibbled on our plan for a couple of months, with Emma's feedback at a few points. That process helped make our next steps clear. On the big day, because of often-inevitable twists and turns, we had to jettison probably 50% of the birth plan, but everything turned out well because of the other 50%. A solid plan doesn't crumble if you remove some bricks. Our plan wouldn't have been as solid without Emma's input.
5. Her intuition is on the nose. The pregnancy was uneventful until a few days before what turned out to be show time, when my wife developed preeclampsia out of the blue. To make a long story short: we had to go to Norwood Hospital 3 weeks earlier than the due date, and had to induce labor. Not our Plan A, but we had planned for the possibility. My wife grunted away for 2 days in the hospital (hooked into the monitors and with an IV most of the time), and the pain got bad after the doctor broke the water. An epidural started looking necessary. Emma knew we'd wanted to avoid epidurals, and helped us weigh the pros and cons, but she seemed to lean toward that option just as my wife and I also leaned toward it. In went the epidural. My wife could nap at last. Emma knew I was looking for a chance to pop back home and feed our 3 cats, so she said (I'm paraphrasing), "Phil, if you want to check on things, now would be a good time." As I was wrapping up at the house, Emma sent me a text to the effect of, "Phil, now would be a good time to head back." 15 minutes after I got back to the L&D room active labor began. 30 minutes later we held our newborn Wally. Good thing Emma has a sixth sense. Good thing I skipped the shower at home.
6. Her personality. Emma is calm, but engaged. She is professional, but like a friend. She is tough and adaptable (a doula's sleep can get patchy), but friendlier than Mr. Rogers. It's easy to work with her and even easier to like her. She is a cool lady. After the birth you may say something like, "Do we need to have more children to work with you again?"
Again, just a few reasons to work with Emma. We could go on.
If you're expecting a baby, no doubt you've agonized over which doula to hire, and maybe you're still deciding. But with Emma it's a decision you'll only need to make once.