Noak has opened up in a 'no-brainer' part of the gradually gentrifying part of Brockley, the opposition being The Gantry and The Orchard which are both stuffed to the gills with chinless, fawning Audi 4x4 drivers towards the end of the week. It has welcoming staff were lovely - decent decor - we even went back a second time because you should support local new businesses even if they do forget you're there or charge you for things you order but never receive.
The concept of Noak is that they "know that simplest is very often best" and by simple they mean 'it's red or white wine', no details or prices until you see the bill (£24 a bottle!) and took a mere 20 minutes to reach us. Food is equally as simple, although the descriptions aren't if you dare to ask - being a vegetarian you get bored of the 'curse of the goat's cheese option' and it's pretty hard to f**k up a pizza but none the less this was achieved in spectacularly middle-class style. The ability to customise (i.e. remove one ingredient) was flatly refused, apparently removing pickled onions from a pizza 'freshly made from scratch' is not only unreasonable, you get the feeling it's a thoughtcrime. So when faced with literally 3 choices on a menu rendered on a brown paper bag in felt tip, it's less of a culinary choice and more of a 'like it or leave' experience.
It's not all depressing though - the children's play area situated right in the kitchen area with sharp knives, industrial ovens and seemingly oblivious staff made for light entertainment as we giggled at the prospect of one of them being permanently facially scarred for life as part of the relentless, ear-bleeding screams of joy at far-too-late past 9pm. The luke warm coffee at £4 for a half measure was also a nice finish and there's free wi-fi, but only if you're buying over priced sustenance. So if you're one of those people eager to brag about a brand new, post-hipster, hangout where you'll pay twice as much for 1/3 of the experience head to Noak and be as disappointed as we were and maybe reluctantly long for a chain store to swoop in and replace it. read more