MAKE A DAY OF IT AT NO KA Oi!!!
It's quite simple, if you have the patience of Job and don't value your time, stop by NO KA Oi for breakfast and ask for Michelle (aka Meesh) to be your waitress. If you arrive at 8 am, somewhere between 9 and 10 she will greet you with a very pleasant smile and take your order. For the next 45 minutes or so, you can people watch as dozens show up, order their food, get served, eat, and then leave. You can also watch Meesh talk on her phone, ignore her other tables, and check her own ass out in the mirror to convince herself that her 16 year old grand daughter's shorts look better on a 55 year old.
Somewhere between 11 and noon, she will come by and let you know that she put your order in.
Shortly after noon, you and whoever you are with will begin to argue over who gets to lick the gravy off the plate on the table next to you. At this point, Meesh will come over and give you a look that lets you know she is disappointed that you might be disappointed in her.
Around two o'clock, you excuse yourself from the table and go to make sure your order was put in. IT'S A NO GO.
You spot a cardboard box behind the bar and tear off one of the flaps. You then bump into one of the waitresses that is actually working and pickpocket her Sharpie. You go out the back door and create a sign. After admiring your work, you go sit out in front of the 7-Eleven. People flock to you and offer donations. Even the homeless are emptying their pockets to help you in your cause, because they all see the sign you created and they all understand.
"MEESH IS OUR WAITRESS"
You struggle to make your way back down the street to the restaurant.
You are emaciated, weak, and are weighed down by your collection. You spot a Ferrari in front of the sports bar and empty your right front pocket and pay cash for the vehicle. You and your new ride make it down to NO KA Oi and you abandon the vehicle (you can afford the tow because of the donations from those that have been MEESHED before) and you go inside.
One of your friends has perished and the other friend is gnawing on the lifeless carcass. Meesh has changed into her Jordash and has red bandannas tied around both legs. Her gut is hanging over the front and she has plumber's ass in the back. She leaves for the day. Another waitress comes and takes your order again. You decline as their is still some meat on your deceased friend's left ass cheek. It is 3 pm and as you dine, Meesh returns looking for her tip. You offer the Ferrari if she agrees to never return to the restaurant, because it is a great place and she is screwing it up. She declines because the color doesn't match the parachute pants she has changed into. You offer to throw in a neck lift and some Crow's Feet removal ointment, yet she declines again. You are exhausted and offer to by her a late eighties Jaguar. Her right eye-brow raises as if she's interested and you know exactly why. You have enough money left to get a cameraman and hire Whitesnake to perform live on Main St. while she rolls around on the hood. She agrees and leaves. You watch a few minutes of the filming and are disgusted, realizing you should have hired Bush, not Whitesnake.
It's 4 pm. You go back inside and put what's left of your friend in a few to go boxes and give the rest to your new friends down at 7-Eleven.
You go home, no longer hungry, but Meeshed. read more