I'm prefacing this as quickly as possible as I will most likely need the character limit to take you on this journey, the journey that led me to create a Yelp account to document this mostly for myself. My family moved to Waukegan like 15 years ago when I was a senior in high school so I never really lived in this town long but my family has and has got this pizza for awhile and I always enjoyed it. Let's begin...
I'm flying back into town for the weekend (don't worry Lord Pritzker, you know I got that PPE) and I hit up my sister to pick me up from the airport. She hates driving in the city cuz she's whack on the road and I'm coming in at like 4:45 PM with that traffic. I gotta pay for the inconvenience cuz that's what siblings do, and I say we gotta get pizza. So my sister's dope boyfriend J came to pick me up from O'Hare. My sister was like you gotta order when J picks you up cuz it's going to take awhile. I'm like alright no worries we're like 45 to an hour away. She's like be careful though they're kinda rude when they're busy and I'm like whatever, I know how to talk to people I'm in my 30's.
So, I take it upon myself to pull up the menu online and make a note in my phone to read aloud on speaker so not to piss off whoever answers. I call, place my order flawlessly for three 16" pies for like $32 or something, amazing price for large pizzas I thought. This woman takes my order and demands that she call me back to confirm it's a real order, something I've never experienced before but I got major Seinfeld soup nazi vibes and I was immediately loving this experience cuz that's just how I am. She tells me it'll be 45 minutes and before I can even say thank you, I've been hung up on. I was like damn, these people know how to work a phone efficiently. I text my sister that this was the best rude order taker I've ever experienced.
J and I pull up right around 45 minutes later and I walk inside to pay. This woman is on the phone trying to get another customer to speak into the receiver so she can properly take the order, and the phone is ringing off the hook. I give her my name and she rings me up and says it will be another 10-15 minutes. I've got all the time in the world, I don't mind. I go outside and burn a heater, chatting it up with J for like 15 minutes about politics and shit. I walk back in and at this point, four other people have walked in trying to pay and pick up their pies. She's battling with the phone callers and the people with no patience trying to pick up their single small pizza all entitled as hell like they're Lord Pritzker's kids or something.
She's kinda losing her shit on the phone and getting super frustrated with the volume of calls and the impatient customers trying to get their orders. I'm standing off to the side watching in complete awe at how these people are so upset with this woman who is clearly getting slammed at dinner time with orders (which, come on Waukegan, it's gotta be expected when you order pizza at dinner time on a Friday that isn't Little Caesars, it's gonna take awhile) and I'm straight up hoping this woman starts picking up the phone and hanging up on people calling cuz that would've been amazing. But she didn't, props to her. Instead, she kept answering the calls and taking orders and making the people who were trying to pay and pick up wait longer which to me was absolutely hilarious. I saw my three pizzas on top of the oven but you think I would dare go ask for them? Ha, f*ck that, this was hilarious theater. I figure it might be a couple of minutes before I can get my pizzas so I go back outside to rip another dart and tell J about this amazing Seinfeld episode happening in front of me.
I go back in and get my pizzas, like nearly 40 minutes later after they said they would be ready. I gave the lady a big smile and said thank you and hoped that she would have a great night. She didn't care and got right back to work with no response which I totally and wholeheartedly respected. Customers are usually trash, for sure. But I truly meant it. We get home and the pizzas were damn delicious. I don't care who you are, $12 for a large pizza that isn't trash like Little Caesars is more than reasonable AND you get a hilarious experience if you go to pick it up yourself. I was all about it.
I will never understand, nor would I want to, the mentality behind the people giving this place one-star reviews. This place is awesome, and I will most definitely be ordering more pizzas from here when I come back home for Christmas. And you bet your @$$ I'll be ordering at dinner time on a Friday, giving myself at least two hours to enjoy this spectacle. Love you guys. All these haters can suck it. People who do Yelp reviews are trash and I never thought I would make a Yelp account but I had to in order to defend your honor.
(I was not paid for this review and this happened on October 30th 2020, but I got high af and forgot to finish the rest of this review until today.) read more