This was the epitome of another instance of ableism in mental health. When I e-mailed initially he agreed to do my medication management, then he found a passive-aggressive way to go back in his word during the intake. I would only be granted the privilege of treatment were I willing and able to retrieve decades-old medical records from throughout my entire medical history, including that which was provided by no-longer-in-practice providers (that are only required to keep medical records for 7 years), some of which are probably long dead by now given their age(s) at the time of treatment. He was not even willing to do his own legwork and have me sign releases so that he could retrieve this information himself, nope expected me to be his personal gopher. Not how it's supposed to go or how it has ever gone in the past, very low bar here. I'm not sure what I can even say about a man that feels the need to announce 4 times in a half hour that he's "going to be extremely transparent" before saying something; no one who is remotely honest overall EVER feels the need to say that. They just tell the truth and they don't expect a medal or a plaque for doing so. It's not newsworthy because they do so by default.
I told him that best I could do was supply a list of meds and notes as to what the experience was like, and he fired me as a patient. I guess his reaction to my statement of needing firm boundaries was to attempt to meddle in my entire medical life, including his over-focus on things like vitamins, that are not even his area. The whole thing felt like an invasive procedure from the get go, and some of the questions themselves were definitely brewing some legit animosity as the session progressed.
There was a constant invalidation (and plenty of droning/lecturing which dealt in various unsubstantiated garbo when someone only takes their narrow academia into account just to try my patience a little more) when I wasted my breath explaining symptoms and conditions to him, and he was completely out of touch with regards to therapy not working out. Welp, mental health is not even trained in autism, and they often fall down on what they are actually trained in. And it's a newsflash that going over 20 years under a wrongful diagnoses isn't exactly a picnic for the patient??? When I pushed back and said something along the lines of "Oh looks like I have to prove myself to someone or I must be lying" after the unreasonable and impossible demand of all those medical records, I was met with the gaslighting of "Sorry if that's how you're taking it". Well when his entire attitude was pervasively dismissive, know-it-all and confrontational, that's on you not me buddy. Maybe man up and accept some accountability. And maybe accept the fact that therapy usually only works for those that have the mental equivalent of a common cold; come down off the high horse and realize that what's wrong with patients that object to it, is that they are just more rational and informed than the rest of your patients who trust you blindly because you're a doctor. And after over 20 years of misdiagnosis, either that's my fault or I must be making it all up without endless corroboration (that is not even possible to obtain). I think I liked it better when we were all entirely in the dark, as this is definitely NOT an improvement over those circumstances, before you even get to other conditions such as a multitude of concussions. Right and the thought Vitamin B and "environmental issues" were the crux of why I have sleep problems. He could not even understand why this creates a situation of necessary boundaries and trust being at a bare minimum. Especially since the tele-health carpet-bagging began during the pandemic, mental health is even more in the dark than ever before. Yeah those appointments previously accounted for around 1%-2% and now they are up to over 40% of all mental health appointments. A gold rush tends to make quality go downhill.
I have encountered various forms of patient-blaming rhetoric from mental health on quite a few occasions, but this was the very first time the provider did so preemptively. Usually it's vague generalizations with a very negative connotation, like "You're too complicated", and I start thinking "Oh I guess I should have been born more simple for your benefit, but God wasn't thinking about catering to your inadequacy when he made me". Yeah. LMAO I also have to explain my jokes to people like this, or just like he did about telling the truth, I have to announce that it's a joke before one of them jumps the "danger to himself or others" gun.
I am glad Dr. Glorified Title fired me as a patient. I have had enough overlords in this lifetime who live with the delusion of grandeur that if they do it, it must be 'help'. Of course that works out even more poorly when they don't even have the first clue about your condition(s). I think I just dodged another Cluster B bullet. read more
