If you are looking for a place to relax and throw your worries away, Westwind Lodge is not the place for you, and if you dare try, please be sure to throw those worries away in a trash bag and do not leave them loose in the trash can outside. My female relatives (aunts, cousins, and grandmother) and I came to Hocking Hills to reunite after an incredibly long time without seeing or hugging each other. It was a little strange when the owner of the property mentioned THREE different times in one message not to follow GPS, but instead, use her directions. The oddities continued as she insisted to be there when we arrived to greet us since none of us had experienced this with a VRBO rental prior to this getaway. But the neuroses of the ownership finally smacked us straight in the face when we realized that greeting was simply to walk us through the rules. Many, many rules. Complete with a binder left for your reading pleasure and a condescending lecture from the owner to a group of adult women. There were 13 of us ranging in age from 29 to 88, but it really didn't matter who we were. Jesus Christ could have walked in with his 12 disciples and she would have asked him to make sure he showered before entering the hot tub. Her tone was both rude and insulting.
Things we were warned of during her tirade, lest we be charged additional fees: Do not eat, drink, or sleep on the sofas. If you are going to sleep on the pillows, remove the pillow shams and use the pillowcases in the closets. Do not leave the coffee maker plugged in when not in use. Do not move the furniture. Do not get in the hot tub without showering. Do not leave any loose trash without bagging it. This includes boxes that are too big for bags.
After leaving the property, we were informed that we left loose trash, which is an outright fabrication, clearly designed to offer a "reason" for additional charges. We were meticulously cleaning the entire cabin all morning to be sure to reach her satisfaction and even cut down all boxes so that they would fit into trash bags and not be considered "loose". One of the comments by the owner was that she was forced to empty the trash can and rebag it because there was loose trash and it was unsanitary. Speaking of unsanitary, you are asked not to strip the beds when leaving the property so they can "inventory" (AKA look for things to forfeit your security deposit) the linens. We did have our suspicions on the motive of the owner when one of my aunts pulled her blankets back on the first night and found a hair on the sheets. We were also told to wash the dishes used and then put them away. I am not a health inspector, but every place I've ever rented has either asked to load and run the dishwasher but leave the dishes in there or just load it and not run it. I suspect this is so that the renters do not then touch the clean dishes to put them away, but what would an unsanitary person like myself know about health codes?
Interested in keeping your loved ones posted while haphazardly moving furniture and sleeping on sofas in a cabin in the woods? No problem! There is a landline that allows you to hear a couple of syllables at a time, which is enough to ensure that your spouse is ta.....car......tom..... And if that is not enough contact, the owner does offer the use of her personal Wifi for a small fee of $5/day in cash only. No exact change? No problem there either! Just give her the next bill you've got higher than the total and she'll call it even! It was blatantly clear with each warning of impending charges for things like spotty wifi and sleeping on pillow shams that the goal here was to come up with some failure to abide so that we could lose our security deposit and wring out any spare change we had for things like communicating with important people in our lives. But wait...there's more! The wifi doesn't work half the time and the TV in the main living space doesn't work either, which I guess is okay since who wants to watch television without the snacks and beverages that are strictly forbidden on the living room furniture.
Anyway, the cabin was beautiful and there were lots of towels and beds and bathrooms and two kitchens. Those things were great. We had an amazing time because we are an amazing group of women, but it was a shame that every single one of us walked away saying, "this weekend was perfect if it hadn't been for that horrible owner." Perhaps if someone is that neurotic and paranoid, they might seek a different line of work than allowing strangers to use their property to enjoy themselves. If you want a place that limits your freedoms and puts rules on your fun, this is the cabin for you. Otherwise, run to the closest Red Roof Inn, because I bet the people there are at least welcoming. read more