The first thing I did after being kicked out onto the street into the rain by the proprietor of…read morethis creperie... was laugh. He had just given me the greatest gift of my day: not having to pay for the awful gallettes he had just served us.
The experience was bad from the beginning. We stood outside for ten minutes reading the menu in the window and deciding what we wanted (and how to pronounce it in French) before entering and promptly being shown a totally different menu. Then, we ordered a set meal to share and were told that there was no sharing allowed. Naturally, we needed time to consider that news and to figure out what else we wanted. This seemed to anger our waiter. We heard a voice in the back (the voice that would soon be kicking us out into the street) ask if the waiter wanted him to translate something, but the waiter said no. (My mom was speaking French like a good tourist, but it was not fluent, obviously.)
Finally, we ordered an extra gallette to go with the set menu to comply with their rules. The attitude of the waiter during this entire exchange was glacial. It was as though the mere suggestion of sharing a set meal offended his sensibilities to the core. (By the way, we shared without complaint all through the rest of Spain and France.)
When the dishes came out, they were not at all as advertised. Mine was supposed to have salmon in it. It didn't. Not even a speck. Just all asparagus. My mom's, well... here's the thing. She ordered andouille. Those of you who know anything about French cuisine are probably starting in horror right now. "Not... andouiettes?" you're thinking. Yes. That. But that's not what the menu said. It said "andouille".
For the uninitiated, andouiettes are sausages made of pig colon that smell and taste like poop. We did not know this when we ordered it or when we put it into our mouths. Naturally, we thought there was something wrong with it. When my mom took it back and said that she could not eat it because it smelled bad (not angrily and not asking for her money back, just saying this) the owner exploded.
My back was turned, but I heard him start shouting (in great English; where was THAT when we were having trouble communicating before?) that we'd been nothing but problems from the beginning because first we stood outside his restaurant for "an hour", and then had the audacity to think we could order food for one person and share it, and then had the gall to not like our food. Then suddenly he was standing next to me, asking, "do you like this? Or do you not like this?" Then he ripped the fork out of my hand (it even had a bite of food still on it!) and swept the plate out from under my face with a flourish and said "Ciao! Ciao!"
So, that happened. There's a first time for everything and I guess that's my first time getting kicked out of a restaurant.
I feel like the only thing we could be faulted for is ordering naively. Everything else we tried to do correctly... speaking French, agreeing to the rules of ordering, etc. Had he politely explained to us that we had ordered something that was supposed to taste 'funny' and why, everything would have been fine. But no, he had to go nuclear and make a giant scene.
But again, my overall feeling upon finding myself out in the rain was gratitude. We were forced to find another crepe place, and that one was better, cheaper, friendlier, and (surprise) way more crowded.
