Welcome to the Twilight Zone…read more
I've been sick -- a lot -- over the past few months. Strep throat, bacterial infection, allergies, you name it, I've had it. So, being ill again and tired of coughing every five seconds, I managed to get the boyfriend to take me in to the Vernon Walk-In Clinic one afternoon last week. The woman at the counter was incredibly friendly, and I was hopeful that I'd get fixed up well. And then? Then I was taken in to the doctor's office.
The man who initially took me in was friendly at first. He commented about my hair reminding him of Phyllis Diller, making jokes about his lack of hair, etc. He took my temperature, kept talking, and I? I shifted uncomfortably in my chair. Then we went into the exam room, and to be honest I couldn't tell if this guy was the doctor, a nurse, or some random guy just looking to have fun poking around at someone. He noticed my star of David and I mentioned that I'd been in Israel, and then, then it all started. I got a lecture about how the real Hebrews are blacks, not people like me. He started talking about how the Ethiopians are Jews who just believe in Jesus and blah blah blah. The guy just kept going on and on and I kept trying to explain my symptoms, but he was talking about Discovery Channel specials and random, random, random things. I just wanted a doctor.
Eventually, after he started talking about Luther Vandross, the doctor came by, and a woman dressed up like an actual nurse came in and did a few things, made me do a breath test (since I'm asthmatic, I guess) and eventually some guy who was supposedly an actual doctor came in.
Now, this guy ... he has to be a complete wackjob. I mean, he is. He didn't stop talking one second to listen to me. He used his stethoscope by putting it on my back, saying to take a deep breath and the moment I started to do so, he removed the instrument -- he didn't listen to ANYTHING, and he did this about six times. Meanwhile, he was STILL talking. He just kept talking. I don't even remember what he was saying, something about how I MUST get a family doctor, how I must see an Ear, Nose and Throat doctor and how they just can't do anything for me. He just. Kept. Talking.
The thing is, when I went in, I was about 99 percent sure I had a sinus infection, since I chronically get them. I had hoped for the Z-Pack since the last (probably fake) doctor had given me a second round of penicillin (this was in Pennsylvania), causing me to have an allergic reaction to penicillin. Instead, here's this doctor, who has not even VENTURED a look up my nose to see what the sinuses look like, nor has he even TOUCHED my face or sinuses to survey the situation. I finally asked, "Do I have a sinus infection?" and the doctor proceeded to walk out of the room while STILL talking to me ... he talked to me all the way down the hall. I mean, this guy was insane. He didn't once look at me. He just talked.
They finally gave me some Nasonex, a prescription for the Z-pack, and sent me on my way.
I left, feeling like I had just wasted a $10 copay and more than an hour of my time with a bunch of lunatics preaching the gospel of the Hebrews and talking out their asses about just about everything.
Pardon me if I sound a little disgruntled, but I highly recommend NO ONE go to this place.
Unless, of course, maybe you're writing a screenplay about lunatics in a walk-in clinic.