Two Humans, Three AIs, One Dog, and a Prescription That Was Never Filled: A Seinfeld Episode…read more
I genuinely cannot make this up.
I pulled up to the pharmacy drive-through to drop off a new prescription for my dog. I explained that he doesn't have insurance and I'd be paying cash.
I asked the woman at the window how long it would take.
"Are you going to wait?"
"Well, I don't know. How long will it take?"
"We can't give wait times at the drive-through."
"Okay, how long would it take if I came inside?"
"30 to 45 minutes."
"Great. I'll be back in 30 to 45 minutes."
"But we can't give you a time if you're dropping it off at the drive-through."
"Okay, so if I come inside, it's 30 to 45 minutes?"
"Yes."
"Great. I'll see you inside."
She then offered to text me when it was ready.
"Perfect. And when should I expect that?"
"Ma'am, I can't give you a time."
I drove away.
An hour and a half later, I received a text from AI #1 informing me that my prescription had been delayed due to an insurance issue.
There is no insurance. IT'S FOR MY DOG.
I clicked the link to resolve the issue and was connected to AI #2, an online chatbot. After explaining the situation and waiting for a response, the chatbot informed me that it couldn't help with insurance issues and I needed to call the pharmacy.
So I called.
Enter AI #3.
"How can I help you?"
"PHARMACY."
"I can help you with--"
"PHARMACY."
"Please tell me what you need--"
"A HUMAN BEING. PHARMACY."
Finally, Human #2 answered.
I explained that I'd dropped off my dog's prescription an hour and a half earlier, had been told 30-45 minutes, and had now received an insurance-delay notification despite explaining that I was paying cash.
He asked for the patient's date of birth.
I gave him mine.
"I can't find anything."
"Well, it's for my dog."
"What's your dog's date of birth?"
"You want my DOG'S date of birth?"
"Well, I'll have to do some digging."
I explained, again, that I'd literally just dropped it off at the window.
"Oh, I found it. There's nothing wrong with it."
"Great! So it's ready?"
"No."
"I'm sorry, what do you mean there's nothing wrong with it?"
"We can fill it. There's nothing wrong with it."
"Okay. So is it ready?"
"No, it hasn't been filled."
At this point, I explained that it had been an hour and a half and asked when I could pick it up.
"Well, did you wait? We don't do waiters at the drive-through."
"I WAITED IN THE PARKING LOT."
"Well, you have to come inside to wait."
Then came the grand finale:
"I can fill it for you now, if you'd like."
"GREAT. YES. I WOULD LIKE YOU TO DO THAT."
"And when do you think I could come by?"
"Well, I can have it ready within the hour."
It is now 3:45 PM. I have to pick up my child from school.
"Great. I'll be there shortly."
Two human employees. Three AI systems. An hour and 42 minutes. One dog without insurance.
And after all of that, the prescription still hadn't been filled.
Apparently, the only thing wrong with the prescription was that nobody had actually filled it.
Now I get to drive back, park, walk inside, and presumably hear:
"It's not quite ready yet."
Somewhere, Jerry Seinfeld is taking notes.