So if you like Arial Font
And good fruity boba's what you…read morewant
Down in SETX
It tastes better than sex
Here at Kung Fu Tea close to Beaumont!
Now for some rap:
Most other places don't know how to DO TEA
Tastes so bad it makes you say, SCREW TEA
Some boba is awful, makes you wanna BOO TEA
But that'll change when you try Kung FU TEA
When you taste this one, you'll see you never KNEW TEA
Finding the Lemon Black has really been a COUP TEA
If you wanna be a Playmate, this can be your HUGH TEA
That's why you have to come straight to Kung FU TEA
My Generation might sometimes prefer WHO TEA
If they were Shakespeare they'd be Taming Of The SHREW TEA
If they were a Native Tribe then they'd be called SIOUX TEA
Hurry up and get your *ss directly to Kung FU TEA
They started in the 00s, and since then they really GREW TEA
One is never enough in fact you should order TWO TEA
Tastes so good it makes me wanna drink from Barbie's SHOE TEA
There's no better Lemon Black than this Kung FU TEA
Dip your wings in it and it'll be BLEU TEA
If the Boba's squidgy, maybe you can CHEW TEA
If this tea was human, you would wanna SCREW TEA
Come and have some sexy boba now at Kung FU TEA
WHAT
Yay! Beaumont-Port Arthur has real international standard Boba, halfway between the two towns! I never saw that coming. I hope the water doesn't contain any petroleum run off. Ahem.
We're definitely fans of this brand new Kung Fu Tea for the Nederland Beaumont Port Arthur area, because there really isn't any good Bub Tea in this whole area, not without going to HTX or Laugh@Yeti LA, and this is a very good chain and it's great to have one of these here.
Beaumont eh? I would never expect any Boba chain to be here but here it is.
Service was okay, not friendly, but not bad. Lost points for closing 30 mins before they were supposed to... we were the last customers out and they turned others away. Thank goodness we didn't show up 10 mins later. Grrr.
They didn't have dine in when we came here. The drinks they made were pretty good. Not the best but not the worst.
If it wasn't in such a scarcely bobapopulated area (which is an overpopulated area but for boba, like Houston, Flushing, Manhattan, you get the idea), then it might get four stars, especially for closing early. But considering it's the only one for probably nearly a hundred miles in any direction, I definitely give it five stars.
What to get: Lemon Black Tea With Tapioca!
Or: All the fruit teas are pretty good, especially if you go off menu and get black tea!
Or: Go crazy and order your fruit teas with the very strong Oolong!
Or in winter: Any of the hot milk teas!
Which milk teas are best: Honey Oolong! Oolong! Maybe Taro or Almond! I also love the regular milk tea with Oreo!
Generally speaking, Kung Fu Tea scores 5, which is a huge compliment, considering that it's a massive international corporate chain, whose milk teas don't match up to the best chains: Sharetea, Gong Cha, Tea Top, and Coco. However, they're still really good, and the fruit teas here are among the best. Especially the lemon black tea which absolutely rocks my world. If it's not on the menu, demand it! Other fruit teas (Orange, Grapefruit, Pineapple) must also be ordered off-menu as Black Tea instead of the meh Green. Also the Lemon Black tastes good as a Lemon Oolong, but everyone else hates it because they have bad taste. The one annoying thing about the chain is the corporate office (they're sketchy) and their rule that no drink can have its tea altered.
My Barbi loves Lemon Black Tea
And she says that she'll share it with me
But she fibs with her lips
And then lies with her hips
Shakira's full of S, H, I, T.
The Lemon Black Tea is the best
Like Barbi's shoes or her fake breast
It tastes like a dream
And can make Barbi cream
This boba is better than the rest
So instead of showing your crack
And being asked to please stop coming back
Go to Kung Fu Tea
And drink boba with me
And I'll share my fave drink: Lemon Black.
So if you think your life is now over
And your gf won't let you disrobe her
And you ask what I think
Just come get a drink
Kung Fu's Lemon Black Tea with Boba!
So if you're sick of pictures of me
And the legs and high heels of Barbie
There's one antidote
Get some balls in your throat
Get Lemon Black at Kung Fu Tea!