"Ode to Randy & Crave"
It's 1993 I am a freshman in high school sitting in some random tweakers house taking a bong hit from a converted plastic honey bear container to prove I am "cool" so I can buy some Mexican brick weed. Never in that moment, purchasing what couldn't have been more than couple grams from a guy who probably hadn't slept in days spending his time between hits of ice peeking though the blinds seeing shadow people, did I think I would be writing a review of a pot shop... but it's 2025 and here we are.
It's still a little surreal every time I walk into one of these places that this is totally legal and I don't have to say things like water pipe to describe a bong or some other coded language.
Honestly it takes some of the fun out of it.
It saddens me that kids today will never know the thrill of how buying weed once was... how it was in the 90s when you had to find a pay phone to page someone 420 to let them know you needed a bag or ask a "friend" to go pick it up from his guy knowing he was going to pinch a bud or two.
I long for the days that for only $12 one could get a pack of cigarettes, a 12 pack of beast light and put $5 on a twenty sack. That $12 bonanza more often than not led to throwing up in the bathroom of some kids house whose parents had made the horrendous decision to leave him or her home alone for the weekend.
Ok now I am rambling so back to the review.
The first thing I noticed when I walked in was how genuinely nice the young lady at the concierge desk was. Is that what it's called or maybe a check-in desk is more appropriate? Either way she seemed to be actually happy to be at work which isn't really the norm in my past experiences at other dispensaries. If she was faking then it was a virtuoso performance and if I was her manager I would implore her to pursue a career on stage or in film.
She explained to me as a first time customer that I would receive a 40% discount and a pre-roll. I don't normally care for the obligatory free joints that dispensaries give away, it's still rad that they offer them. I will normally gift them to a friend so they will think, "man what a great dude."
After exchanging pleasantries and having my ID scanned, presumably so I can end up on some sort of government watch list, I was buzzed through the doors into the THC showroom of sorts.
I wish I had a better short term memory so I could paint a vivid canvas in your minds eye of what it looks like inside but does it really matter to you what it looks like?
It was really nice, clean and bright. To be fair though anything is better than being in some hippies basement who reeks of patchouli and is telling you about how things haven't been the same since Jerry died.
I do want to reiterate how nice, clean and bright it was.
When I walked up the counter on the far right of the store I was greeted by Randy and a gentleman who's name still escapes me. Randy was the store manager if memory serves. The short term isn't what it once was. I should probably talk to my doctor about that.
Randy was really helpful. I mean it's clear this dude loves his job. I wish I was as passionate about anything as he is about weed and customer service. This guy was the Ken Jennings of weed knowledge and his service would make Pete Sampras proud. Randy is real champion of the game in more than one facet.
Randy's honesty was really refreshing as well. When asked he would tell me what was great, what's was good, and what was ehh or meh. He could have probably ran my pockets and upsold me on all sorts of stuff, instead he actually helped me get the most bang for my buck. When I say bang for my buck I don't mean like when homeless guys drink 24oz tall boys of Natty Ice to forget where they are and how they got there. I mean what was going to give me the exact effect I wanted at the best price. On second thought maybe just like the Natty Ice...
I would say that Crave and Randy are a 10/10 and I will be coming back in the future.
Also, Randy has the most Michigan tattoos I have ever seen. The Faygo one was my personal favorite. read more
