I haven't had a good traditional Philly Cheese Steak since my last time in Philly before a ball game. LSS - I was looking for something good and they popped up on Yelp so figured I would give it a go.
I came in expecting the usual East Coast "hold the peppers" and all would be good. However, there are quite a few more choices than I anticipated and I left it to Kevin to get me the right order based on what I was used to. I laughed and said "hey I don't have to ask for cheese on a Philly cheese steak do I" and placed my order.
They use some serious packaging to keep your Philly hot until arrival. The bun was fluffy and absorbed the juices well, the meat was tasty and juicy, the onions and mushrooms were good but there wasn't any cheese...... My Philly Cheese Steak was....cheese less! Oh my goodness this was a problem of epic proportions I had waited two years for an authentic Philly Cheese Steak and.... I was crestfallen.
So, being a genuine epicurean disaster in the making I took matters into the standard Philly way of handling things... I called like only a Phillies Baseball fan can do and rapidly gave my Rocky like interpretation of the chain of events and the culmination of the enfolding disaster that even Emeril would have been challenged to solve.
The true horror of the situation caught management by surprise.
After everyone was able to catch their breath... They said no worries, we will take care of you and put you on the "take care of this guy next time wall." I relaxed, considered my cheese less alternatives, added mayo and suffered through without the cheese...it was good - but not great.
A week later I arrived ready & waiting for my picture to be on the wall with the "take care of this guy note" stars and my bust. But alas, there was no, note, no picture, no name, it was like they didn't know it had happened...
Luckily Kevin recalled my desire for an epic Philly, discussion of the Buffalo Bills and upon hearing about the cheese less, cheese steak disaster immediately grasped the gravity of said situation and took matters into his own hands.
Barking out orders, like General Patton at the Battle of the Bulge the entire Cheese Steak team realized how important this next Cheese Steak order was and they fell to it like Patton's tanks zipping through WWII Panzers. I could feel their energy, knew they had the right stuff...
The anticipation was.... too much, I had to walk outside for fear the sizzling steak, onions and mushroom odors wafting towards me would render my olfactory and taste buds useless for the upcoming task.
I had to be calm and cool knowing the entire team was working overtime to make this epic. I felt like I was waiting for the girl at my first prom, oh the anticipation. Finally it was time.
I could see them high fiving in the background and cheering for this special epic Philly cheese steak.
I gently grabbed the bundle of joy and headed back to the ranch because you can't eat there with Covid19.
The ride home was rough as I had to open my windows due to the Philly smells hitting my olfactory glands like I was sitting behind home plate.
I prepped for it, did some jaw loosing exercises to ensure I was able to capture all the flavors in each bite and looked at the package. Did they get it right this time? I tore open the wrapper and was almost knocked over - "Ka Pow" like an old Adam West Batman punch the smell was awesome.
But was their cheese? Everything was melty and looked right but I had been fooled before, there was only one way to find out for sure I tightened my belt, loosened my jaw and took a giant bite....
BINGO!!
Meat flavor just the right amount of juice and grease, onions, mushrooms good but... the Philly cheese - this time it was there and it was a home run flavor hit! Excellent - I closed my eyes and I was back on the East Coast.
The only thing I would want differently would be eating it there on the spot. The roll gets a little mushy and the onions, steak would be better if a little crispier which in the to go package isn't really possible in a ten minute ride home.
I will be back, tell them you want "Dave's East Coast Philly order."
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