I'm a self-proclaimed burger addict. Call me a snob, call me a tosser, I personally don't care, but I do love a good burger. I find them, I hunt them and then I eat them. Kinda like Liam Neeson does to bad guys but less violent. London has no shortage of burger joints so we are a bit spoilt for choice. If you want beef from cattle who graze on mountain grass whilst listening to Mozart in their sleep, you could probably find it.
So when it comes to Byrons 'Proper Hamburgers', one can't help but carry a few expectations. Now I hate to be a major whinge, but I have a few basic problems with Byron's burgers.
1) It's too tall - The double patty versions require you to dislocate your entire jaw just to take a bite. A burger has to be handheld, which is the purpose of the bun. If the burger requires a knife and fork to eat it, it becomes a chore to eat and you might as well order a steak.
2) The patty - Contrary to the claim that 4 cuts of British beef are blended into the patty, it tastes like a discus of meat rather than a burger patty. I've eaten medium-rare patties on three separate occasions and the patty has an elasticity equivalent to a squash ball. I look for a salty smoky crust with a melting middle, and I didn't get it.
3) The sauces - Please use squeeze bottles for the ketchup. There is more to life than vigorously shaking a glass bottle like a mad man just to extract a smidge of ketchup. Better still, why don't the burgers come with the sauce. Chef's know best right? Or are they too afraid of the sauce Nazi's out there?
4) Freddar cheese - I almost wet my pants at the sound of a Byron exclusive blended cheese that's gooey and yummy. Its even got a fricken TradeMark! Ok it's an optional extra but it's worth it right? Wrong. Freddar is another name for cheese coated in Teflon. The one thing it does very well is slide off your burger and onto your crisp white shirt you sucker. Ugh.
It's by no means a bad burger, just not great for a specialist restaurant. Never have I encountered a burger that gives your entire mouth and wrist such a serious workout. Hmm that kinda came out wrong didn't it? read more