Before I get into this it should be noted that I do NOT have a high bar on expectations, I'm talking a squirrel would be able to step over the bar, that's how low my expectations are when it comes to food/service industry - I know it is not an easy job. I know everyone has good and bad days and I try to keep that in mind. That being said, I don't want to sell anyone short but here's how our visit went over the past weekend:
We had a rager in Fort Worth the night prior, our dear Bellville Brahma's lost in the state championship to the Gilmer Green Bay Ohio St Buckeyes - the loss clearly expediated said rager. Needless to say the next morning was not the best so we figure the only solace we had was to pull over while driving South for a decent lunch/beer/whatever.
The first choice was Twin Peeks but they had some maintenance issues and would not be open until 11:45 or so. It was alright, life happens, I understand it. Maybe some gentleman blew up the pipes, who knows. Our next best (what was assumed at the time) choice was Buffalo Wildwings right down the road. In hindsight, reliving the decision was like watching a scary movie where the actors make a dumb decision and we're all like "Ohhhhhhhhhh boy y'all are stupid for going into that dark cellar".
Cellar in this instance is Buffalo Wildwings
First off - we couldn't even tell if the place was open or not, barely and signage or lighting. I didn't deduce it was open until I opened the door. We walked in and it had the same feeling of a funeral home, not even kidding, we didn't know if we were getting wings or literal human remains. Dark, damp, unwelcoming, I'm running out of bad adjectives that don't involve cuss words. Maybe I'm over reacting, maybe it's maybelline, not the end of the world we figured. Maybe it will get better we firgured (spoilers: it did not).
We had our pick of the litter once we stated we would like seating at the bar. We didn't have to fight anyone because we were one of the few folks there at the time. When we sat down we were greated almost immediately by the waitresss, who could not have been more professional and prompt, I believe she was dealing witht he same issues we were. She took our drink orders and we all felt like it was time to relax, time to take a load off and hair of the dog this s*** to try to get rid of our hangovers. The thing is it was not time to relax - it was time to watch the bartender take 25 minutes on three bloody mary's. I'm talking I've seen molasses run an 800 meter sprint faster than this bartender was moving. The funny part is even after they were ready to serve THEY STILL SAT BEHIND THE BAR FOR 20 MINUTES. I don't know if the drinks were picking up frequent flyer miles or what but good god they took forever to arrive at the table. I feel like I could've filed the whole tables tax returns faster than the drink order. It's whatever, the drinks, were on the table now - time to enjoy ourselves and relax.
NOPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
We were 30 minutes in, there was no turning back now (we thought). We decided to order an appatizer for the table. Needless to say that was by far one of the worst decisions I've been a part of - and I've spent the night in a drunk tank previously. Now that I think about it the drunk tank would of been a vast improvement over what we had to deal with. The only thing I can deduce for how long we waited was if the kitchen individually cooked each piece of the appetizer in a rotisserie. A miny rotisserie, not even regular size, a rotisserie for ants. This is strike two for those of use who are counting.
Appetizer came out, from what I recall it was decent but the kinda decent you would expect from a guy finding a drink of water after being in the Sahara for two days. We dug in, started munching and what not, and then from left field our waitress said "Would y'all like to try our beer chasers?" - being already over the experience I was like "Sure, nothing could possibly make this experience worse". GUESS WHAT - she brought out five small glasses of beer for a dollor EACHHHHHHHHHHH. Not only did it take four scores and 13 years to get our drinks. Not only did it take the gestation period of a bull moose to get our appetizers. These cats absolutely brought the house down when they charged us a dollar EACH FOR A SIP OF BEER.
It was at this time I was absolutely defeated. We didn't bother ordering food, we didn't have any more time to wait on what would be equivilant to the Mesozoic Era coming and going. This visit could not have gone any worse.
We asked for the check - ONE CHECK - we didn't want to have to wait for the big bang to occur again for our checks to come. We tipped our waiter, again she was a sweet heart and we don't believe it's her fault, paid for our meal, and left.
We then went back to twin peaks and was served drinks, appetizers, and food in under 30 minutes.
Do not eat here, it's easier to eat infinity read more