What is it with the trend for Southern American food at the moment? Are people watching 'Here Comes Honey-Boo-Boo' and thinking "Yeah, that's something I'd really like to emulate,"? Are they looking at the people on Maury and saying "Whatever they're eating is working for them, where can I get me some of that?"? Have the nasty images on cigarette packages finally put people off the durries and now they need to get their smoke-fix from food? Or are we, Melbourne as a collective, just determined to find a way to get more artery-clogging meatgoods into our bods?
I just ate lunch delivered by Bourbon Street Melbourne. Correction: I just ate half of a lunch. The rest now inhabits the kitchen bin along with all of my hopes and dreams for decent southern style food delivered to my office. And a copy of 'The Celestine Prophecy' but that's a whole other kettle of fish (I was going to say "that's a different story" but 'The Celestine Prophecy's isn't a story, it's an abomination and an insult to bound paper).
My junior colleague discovered BStM yesterday while searching on line for something that I'm sure was definitely work related as she claims. She ordered the BBQ beef in a bowl (instead of sandwich, $13.50) and I ordered the Chilli Sin Carne (also bowl, $11.50).
Colleague then proceeded to get so excited about Tomorrow's Lunch that we had to put down plastic on her office chair. Seriously, it was out of control how psyched she was: anyone would think the Commonwealth Games were coming or something. Because no one should be excited about that either but there you go.
12.15 today: delivery time. Colleague had to be sedated.
The delivery girl was very nice but she over-charged me by a dollar. That's ok, mistakes happen and I'm sure she didn't do it on purpose, like she has some kinda scheme going where she steals a dollar from every second person on her lunch route then at the end of the day she buys a ... I don't know, an elephant. Where would she get an elephant? Or keep an elephant for that matter? It's an absurd notion, let it go. $12.50 is still a good price for lunch and I would have been happy to pay it for good food.
Sadly this was not the case.
I'm not a huge eater, but this was a little serving (see photos). It was also cold but I can understand that food does get cold when being transported across time and space (I believe that is what they call entropy. Thanks Mr Campbell, year 11 chemistry!).
The beans were dry and uninteresting. If you think you can't make beans interesting, you're wrong. I've done it and so has just about every Mexican in the world and there are over 110 million of them. Couldn't you have asked one of them, BStM?
The 'brown' rice was actually white rice made brown with spices. Disguising something white as brown is blackface and that's racist and not cool, BStM. Brown rice is also super healthy, white rice is not.
It came with cornchips that were stale.
Literally everything about this dish was a fail.
Colleague's BBQ was a bit less tragic - it was a fair bit bigger and came with coleslaw, and a pickle. Where's my pickle, dammit? WHERE?? For the extra dollar I really should have forgotten about how adorable cows are and ordered beef and gotten a pickle.
In fact if my disappointing chilli had come with a pickle I'd probably be doing some actual work right now instead of writing a bad review of BStM. read more