Man, dis place da bomb pop, son! First off, they had some fine ass white girl behind the counter named Kate that makes you want to spread the mayo on my grilled cheese (They call it a smackdown, but apparently white people have a different definition of that than everybody else). I know what you is thinking. Black people don't like mayo, but that's racist. You should feel bad about being you with thoughts like that in your noggin. Also, I saw some crazy white dude eat like a 10 pound hamburger with all kinds of fired stuff on it in about 10 minutes. They gave him a free T shirt yo! FREE T SHIRTS. CRAZY. This place is like the mofo Woodstock of southern hospitality is what dat is.
Then this Noah dude started J-A-M-M-I-N-G on his guitar and didn't play Wagon Wheel. That's worth a five star review right there. I don't even care if it's a black dude's song. Wagon Wheel sucks. And the people here know it. Don't nobody want their mama to rock them. That's incest. Gross, homie.
Then I hustled some bald headed dude named Chris out of $15 playing pool. He paid me in quarters, but he was a cool dude, except he kept tryin to show me mediocre boobs on his camera phone. I was like, come on, man. Then he bought me a beer because everybody offers to buy everybody a round in here. It's like Cheers only without Sam Sheppard talking all the time bout how he used to be able to throw a curveball. Nobody cares bout what you did when the real men were away during World War 2, old timer. Get off it and get onto the new hotness that is the B.T.
Also, the bathrooms were 100% rat free so far as I could tell. No droppings, no hair, no pink cordlike tails like on 1 of every 50 chicken McNuggets. These white people clean like a 64 pala on dubs. And the best part of all, NO FRIGGIN HIPSTERS RUINING EVERYTHING WITH THEIR TIGHT PANTS, HAIRY UPPER LIPS, AND GLUTEN FREE DIETS. BE A MAN, SON, YOU KNOW HAD TO ROLL THEM JEANS ON AND THEN YOU TIGHT ROLLED THEM OVER THE TOP O YO SOCKS! THUMBS DOWN, HIPSTERS. Now I'm off to chin check anybody who doubts me. Holla. read more