Ça va? Well thanks for asking, but despite it's fancy name, all is not well. You'd think with a French name the bar would have a certain je ne sais quoi, but you won't find any French elegance in this dive.
Where to start.
One of the only positives for me was that in between the pop tunes they played some great music, music that was really fitting on the atmosphere this place should be striving for.
I've been told numerous times that this place has a 'chilled' atmosphere, but it could not have been anything further from the truth. Ca Va is nothing more than a pit stop for those looking to drink as much as possible, as cheaply as possible in as short a time as possible.
Maybe I'm old fashioned, but getting in and out as soon as possible, while standing around in an overly crowded room isn't my idea of relaxing.
There is next to no seating downstairs, I had the misfortune of placing my backside on a sofa that had been politely placed next to the DJ booth (no expense was spared there either, nothing beats a good chipboard DJ area.). Unfortunately the sofa was constructed from wood with cushions stuffed with gravel, I dread to think how many people have vomited on them over the years.
The decor is fun, but way past it's best. The place clearly hasn't seen a competent cleaner since it opened. The toilets weren't toilets, they were more akin to an open sewer. I've been to some serious dives, but the facilities in Ca Va are easily the runners up in the 'last place I want to piss' award, second only to my student union.
They sell plenty of flavoured tequila, which is a bonus. It's a bit gimmicky though. Don't get me wrong, it's a fun gimmick! I very much enjoyed trying a few different flavours. That was perhaps the only redeeming feature of Ca Va.
Finally, the staff.
Everyone ranging from the doormen to the bar staff were arrogant, rude and pushy. With the exception of one bar woman, who was actually very friendly! Perhaps it's because it was a busy weekend night, I can forgive bar staff being cold on a busy night and at the end of the day I got my drink without any complaints.
The doormen and bouncers on the other hand, could not have been worse.
Never have I ever had a problem with bouncers. I've been kicked out of clubs for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, yet not once have I ever complained about a bouncers attitude.
Ca Va has, without a shadow of doubt, the worst door staff I've ever come across.
The bouncers checking ID were having their own conversation, oblivious to what was actually going on. Pretty normal so far!
But later on, I was standing somewhere the bouncer took issue with, that in it's self is no issue, perhaps I was in someones way or causing a hazard.
But did he politely ask me to move? No, he obviously felt that the best action to take would be to grab my shirt, drag me forwards and push me to the side with enough force that I almost fell over.
At this point I was stone cold sober, the music was low enough that I could calmly talk to my friends standing a meter away from me.
Surely he could have said 'mate, could you move away from here.', like many a bouncer I've come across in the past has done. Any normal person would happily oblige.
I didn't complain when he did this, didn't mention a thing. He proceeded to say 'Move away from here, or he'll fucking kick you out'.
I simply said 'Alright, no problem.' and had a little moan to my girlfriend about being pushed around.
Later on, a few shots of tequila later, I went to the open sewer they have. Having finished my business, I returned down stairs to find we were being essentially kicked out.
The same bouncer had approached my friend and complained that he didn't have a drink in his hand at that specific point in time.
Now correct me if I'm wrong, but I wasn't aware it was standard procedure to sip a tequila shooter through out the night.
Ca Va wasn't rammed to the rafters, there was no one waiting outside.
Surely in a self styled tequila bar it's perfectly normal to not see people walking around with a 25ml glass of tequila, a wedge of lime and salt on their hand constantly?
This goes back to what I said earlier - A pit stop for those looking to drink as much as possible, as cheaply as possible in as short a time as possible.
A great alternative would be Django's down the road. Cheap, yet surprisingly nice cocktails in a much more relaxed atmosphere with helpful and friendly staff. Not to mention topnotch doormen! read more