I first found Dr Krieger when my sister- also a psychologist- told me to quit messing around with less trained professionals. She said it really was actually insulting to her that I'd watched her spend seven years getting a doctorate and then picked social workers and MFTs. No disrespect to those professionals, but, as my sister put it, I have a really stubborn brain and I need someone highly trained to help me tame its demons. It took me further into Google search results than I've ever been- page 6!
I started working with her for support with my anxiety in the wake of the then (still) breathtakingly unbelievable Trump win. I've had an anxiety disorder my whole life and I started getting inadequate professional support as soon as I outgrew my skeptical mother's control of my healthcare access. I've had decent, ok, good, I'm -sure-they're-good-for-someone-else, and ineffective mental health professionals. Seeing Dr Krieger was a game changer. It was kind of like when you take an inadequate dose of medicine. Maybe it helps a little. The placebo effect is powerful. But then you get the right dose and are like Ohhhhhh, THIS is what they've been talking about. Any space to face your big questions with a listener to keep you on track, who does not judge, and isn't in your personal life is useful. A pro who knows how to guide you and direct your inquiry and offer tools, discard ones that don't help, try again. That's a life changing gift. In sum, I feel super resourced around those disorders. It's not gone. It won't go. But I have so many more tools to keep afloat.
In our sessions, she's always goal oriented. What are we working on, what do you want to get out of it, are you getting that, here's your homework. She also offers options and suggestions and observations and gives me space to contemplate them and discard what rings hollow and dig in with what I find useful.
Professionally, I do emotional labor and it's exhausting on so many levels. Ayelet has been super helpful to me in sorting through why I do this work, what alternatives I have, and in having day to day peace with the overwhelming systemic failures that are heartbreaking when we discuss them in the news and in politics, but devastating when we are in them.
Now as I slide towards my midlife crisis, we are working on all that reflecting on your life after you've committed to the major choices. These degrees. This marriage. No children. This career. This house. Putting it so bluntly sounds grim, but I love my choices. I'm happy here. It's more about starting to contemplate what's next. It's spiritual. I have the plates, the cars, the bills on autopay, the retirement account on autoinvest. I've sorted my shit. Every distraction of survival. I am left unavoidably face to face with my demons and my soul.
She's wicked smart and has expertise and tools that seem to me to come from so many disciplines. She has a classical psychological education and also integrates wisdom from eastern and western spirituality, and various paths of accessing and nurturing the links between our mental health and our physical body, and our place in the universe. She can be woo when that works and a science nerd when that works. She's brilliant.
She's the best gift I give myself and everyone who interacts with me. read more