I saw the Dubins about ten years ago, during a
terrible time in my life. My father died suddenly
when I was already dealing with serious anxiety and
depression and trying to survive being in college
away from home.
I put a great deal of pressure on myself. But, due to
the fact that I had come from a small private school,
the social side of college was the most intimidating.
I didn't make much of an effort in those years,
especially because I was in mourning for my father.
So, I was an emotional mess of a person with
virtually no experience in sex and dating. I had no
idea how attractive I was or could be, and was afraid
to find out. But in one session, Dr. Tina Dubin very
bluntly "I got news for you...." laid down her
impressions of my physical attractiveness, to the
point that I burst into tears and tried to hurt myself
right there in the room.
My insecurity is my own problem, and my own fault.
But a professional therapist should know better
than to speak with such cruelty to someone with no
life experience, or any other sense of what they're
worth to the opposite sex. In what should have
been a safe, or at least careful and polite
environment, I was hit with a bomb that still haunts
me ten years later.
I spent the entirety of my twenties without daring to
approach a girl, because I thought that my value
had already been determined by Dr. Dubin. No one
else had ever spoken so frankly, so I assumed it to
be unimpeachable evidence of my looks.
I have never had a girlfriend, as of 33 years old.
During the height of the pandemic, I tried for the
first time to do online dating, but when I got no
matches, I put that failure together with what she'd
said, and decided that I was right to give up the idea
of romantic success as long as I looked the way I do.
I am now considering plastic surgery, although I
don't know when I will be able to afford it, or what
exactly the problem with my face is. My family is not
in favor of this, and they tell me that there's nothing
wrong with the way I look.
I have no idea anymore what to believe, but I do
know that Dr Dubin set me on a terrible trajectory at
a time when I was especially vulnerable, and trusted
her absolutely. But now, I don't believe that I will
ever be secure enough in myself to feel loved, or
maintain a healthy relationship. She is too
irresponsible to be trusted with emotionally
vulnerable people. read more