I found myself here one early Monday morning
with a hankering for a different kind of dining experience.
And boy did I ever get what I wanted!
I would say the decor is quite minimal,
neutral color stories and modest plastic furniture.
I had to use the ladies room,
so I was escorted to holding cell number 113 for temporary use.
The stainless steel toilet was a nice jolting awakening,
as the coldness shocked my buttocks.
The bathroom attendant must have overlooked the need for towels,
and I was forced to dry my hands on the front of my pants.
I found the room temperature to be a little chilly,
so I had to dock them a star for my day-long shivers.
The service wasn't too bad.
I believe this depends on what brings you to this fine establishment.
Being that I was only coming in for a minor offense,
I found the service to be slightly accommodating.
The peals of laughter from the employees could be heard
from my solitary, locked phone room.
But professionalism and detachment
quickly returned anytime an inmate presented themselves.
The food was something left to be desired.
I was pleasantly surprised to be presented with breakfast at 7am,
although the pleasantness quickly faded
as I peeked inside my brown bag.
For breakfast I had a small styrofoam bowl of frosted flakes,
accompanied by a little carton of 2% milk
and a mini carton of orange juice.
Also, a nice treat, there was a square of something
that seemed to be a blueberry muffin of some sort.
Being that I was hungry, I ate with no complaints.
Not that I would have had anyone to complain to....
Next, once I was done seeing the judge,
I was treated to lunch at 11:30.
Oh joy!
Another brown paper bag of food.
This bag contained the familiar carton of 2% milk
and square of some kind of cookie or pastry-ish thing.
I believe this cubed treat was a vanilla cookie of some kind.
My bag also contained two smooshed bologna sammiches.
There were two packets of mustard included,
which was nice for flavor,
being that the sammiches completely lacked any taste.
(which, being that it was jail lunch meat might be a good thing)
Overall, I would say my experience was memorable.
I got to mingle with some criminals
while I waited for my 5 minutes in front of the judge
and I had time to study for my astronomy test with little distractions.
By the end of my visit to the Washington County Jail
I was full of a new conviction
(well, other than the one that brought me there. . .)
And that conviction is this:
Kids, pay your parking tickets on time. read more