When I joined this gym, I was in a psychologically vulnerable position. My previous gym had shut unexpectedly a few weeks before; my muscles were atrophying and I was yearning to build them back up; I had just been given a pay rise; and it was a beautifully crisp Sunday morning.
I came to the gym for a speculative look-around and I was impressed. The gym floor was quiet, the machines were sparkling, the pool was like a mill-pond, the view of the City was wide and clear, pellucid autumn sunlight slanted beguilingly through high windows. My decision had, in effect, been made. I attempted some last-minute rationalisation, but with little further ado I was signing on a dotted line and agreeing to a 12-month contract costing over £100 per month.
Three months later, I have learned two things. The first is that the human will is less free than some philosophers and theologians will claim. In theory, I could have walked away from the gym without signing anything, but in practice the admixture of a quiet weights room, purple-lit jacuzzis, exhilarating views, my keenness to exercise, and a mesmeric salesperson meant that I had no choice. The second thing is that, despite whichever defect in our psychology makes us susceptible to such easy persuasion, one should try as hard as one possibly can to NOT be duped by shiny weights and an over-coiffed 'membership consultant' into joining a gym which is, quite frankly, a profound disappointment.
Virgin Active Canary Riverside is a disgrace. It is dirty, congested, poorly-designed, pretentious and laughably inexclusive. For the price, it is by far the worst-value gym I have been a member of. For one of the alleged jewels in the Virgin Active crown (it is a member of Virgin's self-styled 'Classic Collection'), the gym shows a contemptibly poor understanding of what it takes to look and feel like a classy establishment.
First, it is dirty. Soiled towels, discarded bottles, strewn tissues and unflushed toilets are a feature not only of the locker rooms, but also of the gym floor, cardio room and pool area. Despite most of the time being wildly overstaffed (perhaps this accounts for the eye-watering and grossly unjustified prices?), none seem to be capable of spotting a mess and dealing with it. At best this is a sign of staff incompetence; at worst it is a sign of fecklessness and arrogance.
Second, it is congested. Whether you come on a Sunday evening or a Tuesday morning, the gym and pools are always far too full. The pool area is invariably like an Ayia Napa Turkish bath booked out for a budget stag-do. The spa pools, sauna and steam room are not big, and when they are each being used by between 10-30 people, one starts to thing that one could find more comfort - and certainly more space - within a tin of sardines. The purpose of the spa pools in particular (namely, to be a place to relax after a workout) is entirely defeated by the ceaseless traffic of people passing through them. In the weights area, one seldom doesn't have to queue for equipment. And the congestion is exacerbated by floor staff who, rather than trying to manage the limited space, spend most of their time working out too! It is bad enough being prevented from working out by fellow paying customers, but to be blocked by on-duty gym employees who fancy toning their guns rather than doing their jobs? A towering outrage.
Third, and relating to the previous point, the gym is laughably inexclusive. Every time I am in there I am enervated by the sight of new prospective members being toured around, each a potential extra competitor for the Smith machine or an extra body in the steam room. It is critical that a small gym such as this, which has aspirations to luxury/exclusivity, imposes a strict and low cap on member numbers. Only by doing so can it achieve the chic ambience it is seeking and maintain a pleasant environment for its members. As it is, the gym is greedily trying to bring as many people onto the membership roll as possible, with regard to neither the experience of existing members nor the inevitable deterioration of the gym atmosphere as more and more people crowd in. Setting the minimum contract length at 12 months is presumably just a cynical way to stop bristled clients leaving in disgust any sooner.
In short: the proper pool is good, attractive, and occasionally has enough space for one to swim in without holding onto the legs of the person in front. The rest of the place is a chaotic and unappealing hive of activity. Do not let the (admittedly excellent) city views, designer lighting and meretricious names like 'Hydroptherapy Pool' deceive you. For this money, you can get a clean, well-designed, quiet, exclusive gym, with all these same amenities, but none of these same problems. If you join, you'll feel like a first-class mug, and you won't even get a space in the hot tub. read more
