I had a whole childhood of traumatic dentist experiences that caused some serious adult rebellion…read moreof me sticking it to the man by just not going to the dentist for a decade in my 20s. I eventually paid the piper for that one, and since that time, I've realized that the key to me not avoiding the dentist and taking care of my teeth the way I know I should is finding a person that intuitively adheres to trauma-informed principles of care: respects/believes patients, explains what they're going to do and when, communicates safety clearly, etc.
I had a great dentist in NYC and then COVID happened and then we moved to NJ and yeah, I've been delaying finding a new dentist for, um, mumblesfouryearscough. I knew it was time to establish care here and I knew a whole boatload of 5 star Yelp reviews wouldn't lie.
First off, my intake paperwork asked me what I was looking for / what was most important to me in a dentist. Then it asked if there was any accommodation I might need to feel more comfortable. Then it asked my anxiety level on a scale of 1-10. No one has ever asked me this before.
On the day of my visit, having given this much thought, I decided to let my freak flag fly and asked my hygienist if I could just keep the xray apron on for my whole cleaning. If she batted an eyelash, I didn't notice, and me and my weighted blanket snuggled in for an excellent polish. Well, it turns out I had a cavity. Made an appointment to go back to have it filled. Considered asking for an Rx for a single valium, but decided against it.
I was brought into a room that seemed to date to a revolutionary war time period visually, but with modern technology. THE CHAIR MASSAGED ME. Dr. Kim explained what he was going to do, showing me my xray once more, numbed me up, removed my old filling and fixed up my cavity in like, 6 minutes. I don't know if it was the ambiance of the room, the chair massage, Dr. Kim's evident competence, or the acoustic Bruno Mars song playing, but I did not feel I had been locked out of heaven. To the contrary, this was an excellent experience.
If you are afraid of the dentist, this is the place for you.