I recently visited the 3rd ring of Hell; it's named The Pearl. Promised a great round of golf at one of Calabash's finest, we rolled into the Pearl and were hopeful, seeing the vista's and marshlands - you know, what you see on their website and pictures.
Once you cash in and buy your bag of range balls to warm up, you lug your bag to the range as carts aren't allowed. I thought, excellent, they care for the course properly...then, you get the starter instructions regarding where your starting and sent off - into the first ring of hell...you see, those pretty holes, those are few and far between - maybe 2 per 9 holes, the rest, zig zag an unkept jungle of fertile mosquito breeding grounds the likes not seen since life climbed from the proverbial primordial ooze. I kid you not - swarm upon swarm of mosquitoes descend upon you to the point you cannot focus due to the buzzing in your ears...and the bites - I'm headed to a Walgreens for an at home malaria test kit.
But for the love of the game - we press on, into the second ring - aka 3 to 4 groups of golfers on each hole. Rest easy my friends, the 5.5 hour round is alive and well at the Pearl. A part of me wondered, did they stack golfers to feed the mosquito swarm? It seemed plausible, perhaps the loss of blood due to the bites made me delusional, who's to know.
And now, you've survived the swarms, and continue... in spite of slow play, we descend into the 3rd ring, ruled by callous and socially challenged attendants, the course itself. A design that appears to be lacking continuity and planning, it's fallen into disrepair, almost mocking you for still being there. Pin placements in nonsensical locations and fairways that appear more planned for potato farming than a golf ball - calling it a dog track would be insulting to gray hounds everywhere. Awful awful place and the worst experience on a golf course I've ever had in Myrtle Beach.
When Dante Alighieri uttered "In the middle of the journey of our life I found myself within a dark woods where the straight way was lost." - one might think he was referring to The Pearl
Beware my friends.... Golf Hell is real. read more