Who's got two thumbs and likes himself some Ho-Ho-HORROR? This guy.
So this haunted house out in Montgomery decides to put on a special holiday show after a very successful season in October. Weird, right? Well it was. For two nights only, they re-opened their doors with a demented-Xmas theme, and it was LEGEN-
......wait for it.......
I am so, so, sososo glad I made the hour+ trip out to middle of bufu Illinois to experience Massacre. I (spoiler alert!) was recently an official reviewer for HauntedIllinois.com, and these guys made it all the way to the top of the list to become the #1 rated haunt in Illinois for 2014. The webmaster himself recommended this place, so of course I had an obligation to see what all the fuss was about. I was NOT disappointed.
Admission was normally $25/pp, which is actually a lot when compared to most other haunts in the region. However, if you brought new or gently-used toys as a donation, they would take $5 off of each ticket, so I only paid $40 for myself and a friend. When I realized I had forgotten the box of toys back in the car, the guy at the ticket window said "oh no problem, just drop it off at the front when you're done going thru." When we did, they were so grateful for the (ample) donation, one of the actors broke character to say 'thanks'. All around friendly folks, really.
As for the haunt itself, I was inside for more than 20 minutes, which yielded a great scare-per-dollar-per-minute ratio. Just when I though "oh this is probably the end", it just kept on going. TONS of themed rooms, a bevy of costumed characters, and some phenomenal animatronics that quite literally floored me. I was initially upset that they were only sending guests in groups of 2-4, as that drew our wait out into the 30-45 minute range. However, as we went in just the two of us, we got personalized treatment from the haunt, and it was awesome.
Highlights included:
+ a room filled with Samaras (the creepy-ass long-haired girl from The Ring); some were mannequins, others were not ;)
+ an animatronic I can only describe as the plant from Little Shop of Horrors lunging out from a dark void and scaring the sh*t out of me
+ a big T-Rex head that was triggered by walking across a pressure plate
+ a church scene replete with lit candles and pews filled with dummies.....or were they?
+ a continuation of the above, wherein a possessed priest guided us through a hallway completely lined with bible pages (a nice touch)
+ a motion-activated rack of 'falling' drums that gave me a good jump
+ a room adorned with [gory] severed heads hanging from the ceiling
If I had one criticism, it would be the weak production of their 3D area that was rather underwhelming. Most of the effort seemed to be put into the other zones, as this portion was virtually barren of actors, not that scary, and generally unimpressive.
I think what made Massacre my favorite haunt of 2014 was trying to guess if that person-shaped thing in the corner was a static dummy, an actual human, or a dummy on a pneumatic scissor-jack that would spring out as you walked by. They put on a terrific show, my biggest kudos to the cast, crew, and everyone else behind the scenes to make it Illinois' BEST haunt. A job well done, guys!
.......-DARY. read more