Oh,
My,
Gosh…read more
I'm going to start what's clearly going to be a babbling happy essay straight off with this:
Here is the email
reservations@barsmultronstalle.co.uk
And the number to text
07802364282
To book your evening there, because frankly, you want to, like, right now, seriously, why are you still reading?
I would give this place six stars if I could. I would maybe best describe it as feeling safe, welcome, and seriously entertained whilst drinking Fira at claridges without any articles about breast feeding.
I'm going to be slightly irritating, and leave the review fairly vague and spoiler free, because that's kind of the point of a secret bar. Part of my joy in that place was the fact that I hadn't seen a poop load of badly filtered Instagram photos, or even worse, selfies of beautifully crafted drinks an inch away from "#browsonfleek #nightout #cocktails #injoke" (they have actually further stepped down their lighting to make instaspamming harder, photography is fine, just not flash), and that I didn't know what to expect as a new and awesome experience, and I don't want to take that away from you. So I'm going to do that thing that you do with someone who's seen the latest season of game of thrones or stranger things, in front of someone who hasn't, and hope it makes you curious enough to go and try it for yourself and enjoy it as much as we did.
We found it by accident last time we were out drinking in Birmingham online, and decided we just had to go. My bestie tried to book, and made a real hash of it (sorry, guys) and even forgot his dietary requirements, and then was on a boat and oukdnt communicate, so I dropped them an email.
You're led to the secret spot after using a code phrase you're texted on the morning of your visit, think a treasure hunt you can ruin by googling on tripadvisor when you get the clues. Don't google the way, my bestie did, I feel like I would have been even more excited if he hadn't. Like Christmas is still great without the Santa thing, but it was better with it. Maybe take a bag of crab apples though, they might give you even better service (if that's possible) if you take some crab apples with you.
Everyone was polite, the place is neat, and gorgeous, and you sit, greeted immediately by Kyndra and Rob (the geniuses behind the bar, and the kind of people I want as new best friends).
The bar holds 8 people tops, and we were the last two heading in. We had the terroir menu which is currently based on a very English ingredient, every drink includes, compliments and celebrates, and these guys really know their stuff. We chatted (possibly staying a little too long) about the name, their beginnings (1 year old today!), trifles, all sorts. The know about what they've created, what they're using. Everything you put to your lips is tried, tested and beautiful. They're clearly very creative and passionate and have finally been let loose to do what they want running things under their own steam with a great philosophy and ethos-no waste, seriously, one of the drinks is made from (deep breath) the bits left from the drink made from the bits left from the other drinks= drinkception. And what I say to their old bosses? What a trick they missed!
Rob and Kyndra have great attention to detail with drinks and making your evening (even handing over a pair of culinary tweezers when I was having a faff on with the fifth item on the bill). Their philosophy is great, and frankly I'm jealous that I'm not running that business it's so awesome. Although I bought "not the best meat" as a student, ethics and eco are important to me (stop using plastic straws, guys) they show it can be done.
The highlights for me without giving away any surprises, were (and this was hard, I could pick all of them for different reasons, I kept deciding then looking at the breakdown and thinking, no, no, but that one too, and that bit of that one);
"Strudel" mostly because I'm now back addicted to the thing you get to eat with it again, and it is as amazingly balanced as they planned, and you normally don't get with its warm predecessors.
"Fermentation" peradventure down to being so surprised by this concoction. I don't normally plump for this sort of drink, but I want to by this by the bottle and take some to my Father, and my eco ethos Auntie, and keep some for myself. I would pay a pretty penny for it.
But actually no, also the effort in the barrel, and the crispness in the eating/drinking, and the gin coming through in the one with the blush-y verjus (not a friends episode), and the little bubbles, and the pretty glassware, and not glass drinkware, and sweet and savoury, and definitely just where you're sat. Everything just becomes so evident that what you're consuming has taken time, and love, and serious cognisance.
I have eaten at Michelin star restaurants, and drank in "the best bar in the world" and this pips it. My perfect night would be here, and somewhere amazing for food to get both.